#Do My Computation and System Biology Homework

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[friendlypsychopathnextdoor]

How can I motivate myself to finish school

1. Why do you wish to finish school?

Use that reason and push through, step by step. If you put in more work now you will experience a sense of success as you receive better results. This will fuel your motivation and make it more enjoyable and therefore school itself “easier”.

2. Enjoying it.

Find something enjoyable about the topic that is currently being taught in a class you struggle with and volunteer to give a presentation on that specifically. For example if you struggle with history, but enjoy physics give a presentation on the workings and the development of “Little Boy” and “Fat man” or the “machinery” used to build the pyramids. If you prefer biology, but struggle with maths offer to give a presentation on exponential functions using the example of bacterial growth. Most people are naturally curious about something and if you manage to transfer your curiosity to a subject that is otherwise difficult it will become easier to invest time.

3. Yet.

Do not allow yourself to say or even think “I suck at this”, “I can’t do this”, especially when it comes to entire subjects. Sometimes you will need more time to learn something, others will struggle in different areas, but it is more of a matter of “I can’t do this, yet” unless you give up.

4. Distractions.

It is often that other things seem more important or at least more enjoyable and while indulgance to a certain degree is healthy especially as a child/teenager, “social obligations” created by friends or romantic partners are less important at this stage of your development. It is likely that if people insist you prioritise them, that they do not have your best future interest in mind and you will suffer no long term loss from losing their “friendship”/“partnership”. However, in general it is best to turn distractions into rewards. If you wish to play a new computer game, force yourself to do parts of your homework first. Maybe after doing the first half you can start loading the game and then when you are done you will play it. This short partial reward system works especially well if you have long study sessions ahead that you can thereby split into smaller more realistic intervalls all followed by a small-“partial” reward that will not lead to a longer interruption.

5. Routine.

There are a lot of “study schedules”, most of which are absurd online, but they are unlikely to help you. If you struggle with motivation to begin with trying to follow a strict schedule, even if you set it yourself, will likely demotivate you even more. Instead, for example just plan to go to the library next Saturday to learn ahead or catch up a bit. If this works for you, then maybe go again next Wednesday etc.. If you wish to have a plan then set it up in a way that there is less scheduled than you would ideally be able to do, for it is very demotivating to fall behind your own ideals.

6. Environment.

Study, if possible, somewhere were you are surrounded by people also studying who are otherwise not part of your peer group or home. People seem to be more motivated when they see strangers sharing their suffering as well as giving room for competition and new contacts, be it a personal “library romance” or the law students who fell asleep on their desk a few tables over. Going out to study, to a park, your school, your cellar etc. will also make the experience more similiar to other hobbies you might have, allow for less distractions than your own room and you are less likely to give up, if you have put in the effort of getting there with all your materials.

7. Exam dates.

Something a bit of a personal trick, which might not be something you wish to do or should do, is to schedule exams earlier than they actually are. It has led to a lot of confusion by my classmates and parents in the past, but as a teenager I have made a point of putting the exam date a day or even a few days earlier in every calendar than it actually was, so much so that this “wrong date” was the one which I thought of when I thought of the exam. I finished all of my studies before that date and as it arrived I “suddenly” had time for revision. This practice can prevent procrastination, however, it makes no sense if all of your exams are within the same week, unless you move all of the by an equal amount forward in time.

Post scriptum: This advice is mostly centred on struggling less as a student and less on motivation, mostly because people can easier motivate themselves to do things they are good at.

Post post scriptum: There is a saying that “school is not for everyone”, however, unless you have an alternative that would be likely to financially secure you and offer you more joy than any job you could get by finishing school, droping out, especially if you are young and not far ahead in your academic endeavours is a bit of a pointlessly dramatic choice. When you ask the question under point one, the answer “I think a phd would look nice next to my name one day”, “I don’t know what else to do”, “my parents would think I am a bit stupid otherwise” are perfectally acceptable reasons. You can still search for alternatives to academia, but that does not mean you need to make your time till then more difficult and if you put enough effort in to succeed in some larts, those will become a lot less difficult.

[hale-13]

Hold Onto the Faith as I Dig Another Grave

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 6 - Buried Alive

He can’t do it.

There’s just no way he can do it.

He can feel the air thinning, his eyesight gets steadily darker, he can almost smell fresh tilled earth (a rarity in the middle of New York City) and this is it.

He’s going to die.

Words: 2031, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Ned Leeds, Peter Parker & Michelle Jones, Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan

TW: Absolutely none.

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

He can’t do it.

There’s just no way he can do it.

He can feel the air thinning, his eyesight gets steadily darker, he can almost smell fresh tilled earth (a rarity in the middle of New York City) and this is it.

He’s going to die.

“Could you be any more dramatic?” MJ asks from where she’s furiously typing into her laptop, he hair more frizzy than normal and her eyes pinched. Her usually unaffected demeanor is cracking a little at the edges and Peter has never seen her so frantic and disorganized – he feels a little bad about it.

“Seriously Peter,” Ned agrees from his section of the table where multi-colored index cards are scattered in a disorganized mess – he, too, looks on the verge of a breakdown but he’s not able to hide it as easily as Michelle – Ned always has worn his heart on his sleeve. “It’s your fault we waited until the last minute anyway,” his (now former – seriously Ned what the hell, how dare you) best friend accuses.

Peter just lets out a wounded animal noise as he edits his section of their PowerPoint, eyes nearly crossed he’s so close to the screen. Like that would help him edit any faster he thinks sardonically. “It’s not totally my fault,” he tried to rationalize.

“Yes it is,” MJ tells him bluntly, face buried in her over-highlighted notes on the vaccine apartheid in India and Africa for the comparative section of their presentation. “We could have been done weeks ago if you had actually come to the meetings we scheduled.”

“I came to the first one,” Peter protested, looking through his image folder for the proper photo for his slide – he had, at least, cropped and edited them all already so he had one less thing to do. “And besides, we divided the work up evenly – you didn’t even need me around to do your part.” He immediately flinched at the very clear ‘eat shit and die’ look Michelle gave him and murmured out a quick apology before ducking his head back into his work. Ned gave him a look of pity and a sad head shake, Peter just glared in response.

Ned bangs his head onto the table softly and moans. “Why do we always wait until the last minute? I hate waiting until the last minute.”

“Less whining, more writing,” Michelle says bluntly, adding a slide to the PowerPoint on their Google docs and making Peter groan. His job is to outline and find pictures, Michelle’s is to clean everything up and organize their presentation and Ned’s is to make sure that their presentation is cohesive and write out their speech. It’s a system that has, traditionally, worked well for them but this time may as well be a disaster. The only thing keeping them together at this point is MJ’s ruthless efficiency and Ned and Peter’s intense fear of failure.

“We were supposed to do this last week,” Ned continued, ignoring MJ’s order and then the kick she aimed as his shin; not even flinching at what was surely decent pain considering their friend had worn her Doc Marten’s to their meeting. “Why the hell did we let you cancel?”

“Because of that bank robbery remember?” Peter says, ignoring his own work for a second and risking MJ’s (well deserved not that he would admit it) wrath. “And then I got caught on patrol for a couple hours and then it was curfew.” He may have also been in the MedBay that night for a (minor) stab wound but he wasn’t telling them that – his friends worried enough about him as it was.

“Not that I necessarily support the police and the clear and rampant systemic racism of the entire system,” Michelle began, forcefully picking Ned’s head off the table and shoving a pen into his hands so he would continue working, “but that is their job. If we aren’t going to defund them the least they could do is handle a bank robbery.” This had been a frequent disagreement between the two of them for a while – MJ was one hundred percent correct in her viewpoint but Peter was a closet control freak who couldn’t leave well enough alone. They tried not to talk about it in polite conversation anymore.

“But there were hostages,” Peter whined, and there were. About twelve of them who all seemed more bored and annoyed than scared but that was the city for ya.

“And?” Michelle accused. “What do you think happened before you started running around in tights?”

“She has a point,” Ned said gently, organizing the index cards to be less chaotic.

Peter gave them both an irritated huff and muttered “They aren’t tights.”

“Spandex then,” Michelle said flippantly, waving her hand in his direction without looking up from her screen. Peter rolled his eyes.

“Well the next time we have a group project I’ll just send out a nice tweet asking all the criminals and muggers to put their crime on hold so I can do my homework,” Peter huffed sarcastically but without any real heat.

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Ned said, sounding relieved and Peter rolled his eyes again but got back to work. He was only on slide thirteen of twenty-five and, at the rate MJ was adding pages, he’d never finish. They worked in silence for a while, only breaking it to ask murmured questions before, finally, MJ snapped her laptop shut.

“Well if its not done at this point its not ever going to be,” she stated causing Ned to drop his pen and massage his cramping hand and Peter to let his head fall to the table in relief with a moan – his head was starting to throb and the words on his computer were swimming in front of his eyes. “Let’s try to get to school early tomorrow to do a couple run throughs before the presentation.” Peter glanced at the clock on the library wall and groaned, receiving a conciliatory pat on the back from Ned – he still had a ton of homework to get through before he could even think about sleeping.

“Want a ride home?” Ned asked a few minutes later when they were standing on the steps in front of the library. MJ’s mom had already been waiting when they stepped outside leaving just Ned and Peter to wait on Ned’s older sister.

“Nah,” Peter said, adjusting his too heavy backpack and rocking back on his heels. “Think I might swing home, just a quick patrol you know?”

The look Ned gave him was skeptical and disapproving but Peter chose to ignore it. He wouldn’t be out long anyway – just a quick run through the areas he knew were a problem and then home. Faster than the subway for sure. “Fine,” Ned grunted, thankfully holding in his opinion. “But you should go ahead and go before my sister gets here and insists on driving you,” Ned indicated to his tracking app, showing his sister only a few minutes away.

“Thanks man,” Peter said, initiating their handshake and trotting off around the corner to find a suitable alley to change in.

—————————————————

Three hours later, Peter fell through the window of his bedroom, collapsing on the floor and pulling his mask off. His hair was limp and sweaty where it clung to his head and his headache from earlier had gotten worse – the throbbing elevating up to a stabbing behind his eyes.

“One minute,” he told himself, panting and draping his elbow over his eyes. “You can have one minute and then you have work to do.”

“Talking to yourself?”

Peter jumped up, banging his head on the side of his bed with a wince, causing his vision to grey out a little and falling back on the floor to stare dazedly at the ceiling. Tony leaned over him to block his view, his expression mixed between humor and pity as Peter groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“Thought you had a tingle?” Tony teased, grabbing Peter’s hand and pulling him up to sit propped against the wall, ignoring the glare Peter shot him. “You’re lucky May’s working tonight.”

“Yeah I know,” Peter admitted. He was over two hours late for his midnight curfew and, if May had been home and not working in the ER, she would have skinned him alive and then grounded him for the foreseeable future.

“You’re even more lucky I covered for your scrawny spider ass and told her you were staying at the Tower tonight,” Tony said smugly, gesturing to the overnight bag that he had clearly packed for Peter. “Go ahead and change, you can shower once we get back to the Penthouse. You got everything you need for school?”

“Yeah,” Peter confirmed, stripping off the suit and pulling on an old pair of sweats and the t-shirt he had worn to school earlier. Changed and stumbling, he followed his mentor down to the town car that was waiting in front of the door to his apartment, crawling into the back seat and resting his aching head against the window; ignoring Happy’s tired look of disapproval in the rear view mirror.

“So,” Tony began, sitting across from him to make better eye contact. “Want to tell me why you’re out so late?”

“Well I was at the library with Ned and MJ working on a project for biology until about eleven-,”

“Why so late?” Tony interrupted, brows furrowed in thought. Peter bit his lip and averted his eyes and Tony nodded in understanding. “So you procrastinated until the last minute.”

“Maybe,” Peter conceded, eyes darting over to his bag and lingering for a second. Tony clocked the movement and let out a long suffering sigh, massaging his eyes with the thumb and forefinger on his right hand and grimacing .

“How much more do you have?”

“Uh…,” Peter squeaked out. “Just… just two problem sets in physics, one in calculus and five chapters of Jane Eyre to read.” Easily three to four hours of work and Peter was starting to feel buried and suffocated under the course load, his muscles started to tremble at the impending exhaustion he would be feeling the next day on little to no sleep.

Tony gave him a look of commiseration before asking “And when is all of this due?”

“The presentation is my last period of the day, right after lunch,” Peter answered. “Everything else is due in the morning.” Tony studied him for a moment before sighing.

“Here’s the offer: you go back to the Penthouse, take a shower and go to bed,” he held up a hand to halt Peter’s protest, “and I’ll tell May you have, what I assume to be, the start of a migraine,” Peter’s hand reached up subconsciously to rub his temple under his mentor’s knowing look. “She can call you out of school and I’ll take you at lunch so you don’t miss your presentation then you have all weekend to stick your nose in a book while I do some suit modifications. Square deal?”

Peter let out a sigh of relief and melted into the soft leather, nodding. “Deal.”

The rest of the ride was silent and Peter dozed until he was urged out of the car and into the elevator. Once they reached the Penthouse, Tony relieved him of his book bag and passed over the duffle he had packed, Peter not even bothering to put up a token protest as he was shoo’ed in the direction of his room. He pulled out his phone to text his group chat with Ned and MJ and saw that he already had a message waiting.

About thirty minutes before, MJ had sent a screenshot of the SpideyWatch twitter page that had a clear picture of him stopping a mugging just before he got home. The text under it said ‘see you at lunch for a practice run’ and Peter smiled a little, chest warm, as he sent the thumbs up emoji and tossed his phone onto his bed; he was looking forward to a scalding shower and eight hours of uninterrupted blissful sleep.

[tankolai]

Ok so it’s 7am and I haven’t slept and all I know is I am A SUCKER for modern aus and specifically hs aus so here we are. A shitty post with my hs au headcanons... Note this is based on my experience in the Scottish hs system so if that’s why it seems weird then yeah (I think it’d be based in the uk bcs none of them are from there so it’s like... even u know? Idk + bias because I live here it’s just easier for me ANYWAYS) They’re all meant to be around like 18 here and I’ll give them like 4 or 5 classes I think they’d have and just some other stuff! Sorry some are longer than others (can u tell i love Tank and Nik? ;^^)

Starting with big boy Tank I suppose...

Would definetly say he’s in PE and History, PE because dude definetly loves his sports and I can see him really liking history! Other than that I think he’d be in like computing purely because Nik took it and he wants to be with his friend and hmm maybe one of the sciences? Or if there was a debate class he’d fuckinf love that shit anything he can be loud

His real name is Thomas but he got the nickname Tank for being buff as shit and his playing in sports! I was thinking rugby would be a big one for him, same with football/soccer!

He seem’s like a stereotypical jock but he’s a huge softie and a sweetheart to his friends and would never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it. He doesn’t mind getting some action and is kinda popular with the girls but he would never like cheat on anyone because he’s not a fuckin asshole

Probably got banned from taking English again for his last year because him and Nik were in the same class and did not take anything seriously and just caused pure havoc. He enjoyed it purely for that and hated the subject itself.

Onto Nik!

He actually mostly keeps to himself and his group of friends- he probably got teased before for his accent and being quite standoffish so he mostly kept to himself. Him and Tank moved in the same year so they bonded over being the new kids and became really good friends

Good at maths but awful at english, so he takes the former and dropped the latter as soon as he could. Also really likes computing who Tank took just so they could be together for more classes, and he just lets Tank copy his work. Also let Tank copy his homework when they were younger because the others wouldn’t let him.

Takes art too! Likes getting some time to himself to draw and is really chill with all the art teachers. He doesn’t have much time outside of school for hobbies so he crams some of that into art class too.

Also takes PE mostly because he needed something else and wanted to chose something Tank was in so PE it was! He doesn’t really care too much for it but will sometimes get a little competitive.

Probably has snuck in vodka in a water bottle in more than one occasion.

Samantha!

Probably the therapist of the group and her along with Takeo are really the only ones that have their shit together.

Takes Psycology, English, Music (she plays the violin!) and Physics! Her and Ed work together on their physics work and all that! She’ll sometimes goof around a little in class but is still a good student and works really hard.

She’s really good at reading her friends. Uncannily good. It gets annoying sometimes but everyone knows she just wants to help them

Is Ed’s big sister (both in height and age) and also becomes a big sister to Nik, who is disconnected from his family. Will definetly fight anyone that hurts her friends, like no questions asked would break someone’s leg if they dared touch any of her little brothers.

Always studies super hard for exams and wants to do her best so she can get into a good uni for psycology- she wants to become a therapist when she’s older.

Takeo!!

Probably takes Home Ec, Maths, English and psycology! He’s an amazing cook and is the only one of them that knows how to make proper meals that aren’t like grilled cheese or pasta. He isn’t too sure what he wants to do job wise yet but he thinks it’ll be something related to that!

Generally a really hard worker and his teachers think he is an Angel. Very rarely gets into trouble unless he’s roped into it by one or more of his dumb friends (mainly Tank and/or Nik doing some stupid shit)

Scolds Nik for letting Tank copy his homework because ‘he’ll never learn’ but he knows that neither of them care so he has given up with his attempts to actually help either of them with their work

Actually quite popular! He’s on good terms with a lot of people because of his kind nature is people generally like him.

And lastly Ed!

I think he would take physics, biology, chemistry and maths! He’s super smart and used to get teased for it but now that he’s older and in higher level classes people are much kinder too him. He’ll offer help to anyone that asks and isn’t rude to him.

Also studies really hard- he wants to become a doctor and he knows there’s a lot of work involved but he is getting there! Really close with Sam and those two help eachother with anything they can.

Probably has some soft of beef with Nik, and they come close to brawling it out fairly regularly. Everyone else has given up on trying to sort out their beef.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Eccentricity [Chapter 2: You Can Run Around Infinite In My Head]

Series Summary: Joe Mazzello is a nice guy with a weird family. A VERY weird family. They have a secret, and you have a choice to make. 

Potentially a better love story than Twilight (we’ll let @killer-queen-xo​ decide when it’s all said and done 😉).

Chapter Title Is A Lyric From: Rome by Dermot Kennedy.

Chapter Warnings: Language, mentions of violence. 

Other Chapters (And All My Writing) Available: HERE

Tagging: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @bramblesforbreakfast​​  @killer-queen-xo​​ @maggieroseevans​​ @culturefiendtrashqueen​​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​​ @escabell​​ @im-an-adult-ish​​ ​ @queenlover05​​ @someforeigntragedy​​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​​ ​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​​ @deacyblues​​ ​ @tensecondvacation​​ ​ @brianssixpence​​ 

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! 💜

Missing In Action

I wish she would stop staring at me.

Lucille sat at the Lees’ usual table and apathetically picked through a heaping salad. (Friday was salad bar day, which I appreciated considerably more than the chicken finger obsession that marred Mondays at Calawah University.) Every once in a while, Rami nudged her and Lucille would spear a cherry tomato with her fork and bite it in half with perfectly even, white teeth. But her large blue-green eyes—they reminded me of webs of seaweed tumbling in the cold, frothing La Push waves—always found their way back to me, strangely focused, inquisitive, perhaps accusatory.

Ben probably told them how much he hates me for whatever nebulous reason and now they all hate me too and I’m going to spend the next two years being death-glared by five ridiculously attractive and somewhat incestuous foster kids.

Chemistry was a three times a week class. Ben hadn’t shown on Wednesday, and I was 99% sure he would skip again today. I spotted him around campus periodically, always from a distance: dropping quarters into a vending machine, clandestinely vaping behind dorm buildings (what self-respecting pre-med student VAPES?!!), browsing YouTube videos in the library next to a tower of unopened textbooks, biology and chem and physics and calculus. He wasn’t home, he wasn’t sick; there was no attempt made to construct any sort of pretext. He was patently avoiding me.

I stabbed moodily at the serrated disks of cucumber in my salad. Jessica was blathering away about the latest season of The Bachelor and ranking the contestants’ eyebrows from best to worst. “...Like seriously, has she never heard of microblading?!”

“For real,” Angela offered, not especially invested but forever a good sport.

Lucille’s eyes settled on me again as she sipped a cup of steaming tea, staring until her forehead crinkled with the effort, staring hard, almost leering.

“What’s her problem?” I muttered.

Jessica shot a glance towards the Lee table and slurped her Sprite. The great mystery surrounding her potential Mormon-ness persisted. “Who? Lucy?”

Only Lucille’s friends called her Lucy. Jessica, a shameless aspiring socialite, presumed she was everybody’s friend unless they explicitly informed her otherwise, which of course no one ever did.

“Yeah,” I answered glumly.

“Maybe it’s your dress.”

“My dress? What’s wrong with my dress?”

Jessica wrinkled her nose and surveyed me as if I were a bug, and not a cute bug like a roly-poly bug or The Very Hungry Caterpillar or whatever. Like a really hideous bug. Like one of those spider-cricket hybrid things that hopped straight out of a hell dimension and into the dark, drippy corners of your basement. “It’s, like, very 1960s. But not in a sexy Woodstock way. In a ‘I’m about to join a hippie murder cult’ way.”

“I got it at TJ Maxx. It was on sale.”

Jessica snorted. “Probably for a reason.”

“That’s it. I’m giving all the hippies in my new murder cult your address.”

She and Angela laughed. Mike and Eric, the missing pieces of our daily lunch puzzle, were preoccupied with a campus protest to convert fried fish day (Thursdays) into tacos day. I sympathized with their efforts, but didn’t feel that my one-week tenure as a Calawah University student gave me much right to go around overhauling the dining hall schedule.

“I doubt she’s actually offended by a dress,” Angela said, nibbling on French fries that shed grains of salt like snowflakes.

Jessica sighed dreamily. “But Lucy’s just so fashionable...and that accent...” She drifted off into some daydream which began—I could only assume—with Lucy’s invitation to go shopping together and concluded with marrying Ben on some lush tropical island in the South Pacific.

Lucille was definitely fashionable, especially today: short black dress with sheer sleeves that ran to her fragile wrists, black polka dot tights, black heeled oxfords, dangling ruby earrings like beads of blood. She would have blended in perfectly at Paris Fashion Week. Rami was wearing a cardigan and khakis, per usual; Joe was in dark fitted jeans and a roomy U Chicago hoodie despite the fact that Forks was at minimum a thirty-four hour drive from the Windy City. What did Angela say his major was? Finance? No, Mathematical Economics. So he’s probably aiming at Chicago for an MBA or Econ PhD someday. Angela had told me that Joe was wicked smart. He better be if he’s entertaining fantasies of grad school at the University of Chicago.

Scarlett had come straight from Fencing Club and was wearing bright pink yoga pants and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut out, sprinkling Hot Cheetos into her open mouth, her blonde hair secured in a tight French braid. You know those girls who are so irrationally, gluttonously, unfairly beautiful that it doesn’t seem possible the genetic lottery could spit out so many winning numbers at once, and you comfort yourself with the certainty that there must be some set of circumstances that would level the playing field—I bet she looks like anyone else without all that makeup, she just has a really good sense of style and knows how to maximize her assets, there are definitely some goofy oversized ears hiding beneath that hair and that’s why she always wears it down—and then one day you run into them wearing sweatpants and a ponytail in the tampon aisle at Walmart and they’re still so perfect it stings you, baffles you, makes you feel like there must have been some divergence in the evolutionary chain because there’s no freaking way you’re the same species? Yeah, Scarlett was one of those girls. Scarlett was the queen of those girls.  

Ben was conspicuously absent from the table.

Scarlett’s pink leopard-print iPhone rang and she answered. “Hello?” She turned to Joe. “Dad says you left your phone at home. Do you need it?”

Joe was gnawing his way through his third slice of pepperoni pizza. “No, I’m good, thanks though.”

Scarlett relayed the message. “Dad says he’s going to bring it by just in case.”

“Oh my god, ScarJo, I’m fine! Tell him not to!”

“Dad says he doesn’t trust you and he’s going to be here in fifteen minutes. He’s also bringing the Game Theory homework you left by the hot tub.”

Joe groaned and rolled his lively dark eyes as Rami grinned at him; Lucille was still watching me and entirely oblivious.

“Isn’t it weird that Ben and Lucille have accents?” I asked Jessica. “That they’re from the U.K.? I didn’t think fostering kids was an international thing.”

“It’s not that weird. Dr. Lee is British too. Maybe there’s some kind of exchange system, I don’t know. But you know what I do know?”

“What?” Now my interest was piqued.

She smiled. “That the British accents are hot.”

“Ugh,” I exhaled involuntarily.

“Please get a hobby,” Angela begged Jessica. “Start a YouTube channel. Make care packages for orphans. Grow marijuana. Adopt a cat. I have a shift at the animal shelter this Sunday morning, you want to come with me?”

“Sorry, can’t. I have a temple thing.”

Temple on Sunday. The mystery is solved. She’s a Mormon for sure. I mentally resolved not to let her set me up with anyone unless I was still single on Valentine’s Day. Which, obviously, assuming I’m not dead in a ditch somewhere, I will be.

I gathered up my trash and slung my backpack over my shoulder. “Okay, well this has been a bizarre lunch to be completely honest, and now I have to go to Chemistry so I’ll see you later and hopefully we can brainstorm some more alternatives to Jessica’s current life trajectory on Monday. Because I am not looking forward to being a bridesmaid in these impending Lee nuptials.”

“Oh please!” Jessica lamented. “He doesn’t even know I exist. You, on the other hand...”

I scoffed. “Yeah, he wants to kill me. I truly have a gift.”

They waved as I left. I could feel Lucille’s eyes on me until I reached the door.

Sure enough, Ben wasn’t in Chemistry. I tried not to notice. I drew my atoms, wrote my equations, took my notes diligently and in my favorite sky blue ink. But I felt the emptiness in the chair next to me like a black hole, like an immense and dragging weight, like a snag in the fabric of all those interwoven strands of physics that orchestrate the universe like an immortal puppeteer. Why can’t I forget this guy? Why do I still feel like I’ve met him before?

Halfway through class, I hauled my emergency sweatshirt out of my backpack and pulled it on over my dress, floral and flowing and golden yellow like the sun, the sun that never shines here in Forks. I had liked it plenty under the florescent lights of the fitting room at TJ Maxx, and I had still liked it this morning; but Jessica’s words hummed around in my skull like wasps. The zipper of the sweatshirt was broken, but it accomplished the task of obscuring my dress well enough.

After Chemistry, I journeyed to the campus library to find a book I was supposed to read and present for a different class. I looked it up in the computer catalogue, spent an embarrassingly long time trying to figure out how the Dewey Decimal System works, eventually wound up finding the book on the highest floor of the library...and, to add a little extra peril to the mission, on the highest shelf. The book mocked me from its lofty, unattainable stronghold. The title was embossed in gold letters down the crimson spine. The Walruses And Me: A Transformative Experience. Idiotic title, I’m aware. It’s about some marine biologist who spent months alone in the Arctic studying the lifecycles of walruses. A noble pursuit, sure, but still a terrible title.

There wasn’t a chair or stepstool in sight. I tested my weight by stepping up onto the second-lowest shelf. The metal immediately squealed and shifted in protest. I retreated back down to the carpet, defeated by gravity. I scowled up at the book and sighed melodramatically. Ugh.

“Need something?”  

I spun around to see Joe in his University of Chicago hoodie and pale flawless skin and intangible magnetism, that bewildering trademark Lee ethereality. I instinctively crossed my arms, clutching the sleeves of my sweatshirt, shrinking inwards like a startled armadillo in the Arizona desert.

“Are you, uh, anemic...?” he ventured.

“Oh no, I’m not cold. I’m just trying to hide my dress. My friend said it was too hippie-murder-cult 1960s.”

I figured he’d laugh, make a snide comment, maybe just blink in confusion. Instead, he glimpsed down at my dress—what could still be seen of it, anyway—and shook his head. “The neckline isn’t right for the 60s. And you seem like you’ve showered at least once in the past two weeks, so definitely not a hippie.”

I smiled, completely unexpectedly. “I didn’t realize Econ majors knew anything about leftist counterculture.”

“Disparaging it is our favorite pastime. Are you trying to get a book or are you just disrespecting university property for entertainment?”

I pointed. “The big red one.”

“The Walruses And Me...?”

“I know, it’s a horrible title. Not my personal preference. It’s for a class.”

“Bestiality 101?”

“Good guess. Marine Mammals.”

“Ahhh.” He glanced up and down the aisle, tapped his chin with agile fingers, pondered something I wasn’t privy to. “Turn around for a second.”

“What? Why?”

He waved his hand mysteriously in front of his grinning face. “It’s a magic trick. I’m going to make your problem disappear.”

“You can’t climb that,” I warned. “You’ll fall and break your neck. Or you’ll knock the whole shelf over and cause a tragic domino effect and the university will withhold your diploma until you pay them restitution.”

“I’m extremely athletic.”

“Are you sure?” I appraised him with exaggerated skepticism for comedic effect. “My dad refers to you only as the spindly annoying Lee.”

Oh my god, WHY did I say that?

Now he would definitely hate me. Now I’d have two mortal enemies on one campus. I mentally calculated how humiliating it would be to transfer to some Florida college, any Florida college, after only one week at Calawah. Hi mom, yeah I’m coming to live with you and Paul, a gang of hot pasty foster kids wants to slaughter me.

Instead, Joe threw back his head and cackled wildly. A librarian—mid-fifties, angry red hair from out of a box, fuzzy cat sweater—glared into the aisle and shushed him.

“Chief Swan...he actually...he calls me that? Really?!” Joe managed, wiping his leaking eyes. “That’s hilarious. I’m so glad my life is in his hands. Okay seriously, turn around.”

“Why would you help me?” I asked suspiciously.

“That’s just what I do. I’m a friendly guy.”

“This friendliness must not run in the family.”

Again, Joe’s cheerful demeanor didn’t falter. “You mean Ben? Forget about Ben, he hates everyone. Don’t take it personally.” Then he added: “Plus, as I’m sure you know, we’re not biologically related. No overlapping genetic material whatsoever. I didn’t get the male supermodel gene, he didn’t get the irresistibly charming gene, life’s not fair but the world keeps spinning.”

“It sure does,” I agreed softly. Unexpected wisdom from my new favorite Lee. I turned away from him. “Fine, I’m not looking, go ahead and dazzle me with your supernatural friendliness—”

“Done.”

“What?” I whirled around. Joe held The Walruses And Me in his hand. “How...did you...?!”

He passed me the book as I sputtered incoherently. “I told you. Magic trick.”

“I don’t....?!” I gawked up at the top shelf, at Joe, back to the top shelf. Sure enough, the space where The Walruses And Me once lived was now just a vacant slit in the row of dusty books. How could he have climbed up there that quickly? How could I not have heard anything? “The shelves didn’t even creak,” I murmured shakily.

“Yes, well, that’s due to my conveniently spindly physique.” Joe winked. “Any other problems I can help you solve at the moment, Baby Swan?”

“No. And don’t call me Baby Swan, or I’ll push this whole bookshelf over and tell the feisty librarian lady you did it.”

“That’s cold, ma’am.”

I liked that Joe didn’t make me feel like Ben did: unworthy, unloved, infuriating. Joe made me feel something else, something lighthearted, casual, buoyant; like the world didn’t have anything in it worth worrying about, regretting, agonizing over. Like unadulteratedly myself was all I ever needed to be.

I heard a muted buzz and Joe slid his iPhone out of his jeans pocket. Dr. Lee must have successfully delivered it. “Whoops, I forgot that Ordinary Differential Equations existed. Got to go. See ya.”

“Bye,” I replied. And then Joseph Lee was gone, very quickly, a little too quickly, the same way that Ben had vanished on that first afternoon after Chemistry.

Forks is weird. Calawah University is weird. And the Lee kids are super fucking weird.

Long Walks On The Beach

“Can I ask you a random question?”

“You just paid me $100 for an oil change that took fifteen minutes. You can ask me anything you want.” He grinned, flashing bright teeth and deep dimples.

It was Saturday afternoon. I had shoveled down a Chipotle veggie bowl as Archer changed the 1999 Accord’s oil in a small garage with a cracked concrete floor and the searing pungency of gasoline fumes thick in the air. He had apprenticed all through high school and rented his own shop after graduation. Archer now had a loyal clientele that encompassed virtually the entire Quileute reservation and a growing chunk of Forks...including Charlie and me, of course. Archer was the only child of Larry Foxchild—Charlie’s best friend since they worked together at Dairy Queen as teenagers—and the closest thing to a son my dad would ever have. I guess that made him like a brother to me, something that seemed intuitive now that I’d thought of it.

After the Accord was serviced we drove it down to La Push to walk on the beach, climb the salt-lashed rocks, toss pebbles into the roiling surf, reprise our childhood enthusiasm for poking dead washed-up marine creatures with shards of driftwood.

“Do you know anything about the Lees?” I asked Archer, investigating a deceased green shore crab.

His brow furrowed. He looked so serious like that, suddenly so much like Larry: the same tan skin, jet black hair, umbral eyes like oil wells, strong jaw overlaid with the stubbled shadow of a beard. We really aren’t kids anymore, are we? “The doctor and his kids?”

“Yeah. The foster kids. They’re really pale and strange and half of them are British.”

Archer chuckled. “I know who you mean. They’re hard to miss.”

“Are they...” Just eccentric rich people? Traumatized from abusive childhoods? Government experiments? CIA agents? Secret murderers? The image of Ben in that first Chemistry class came roaring back to me, including the adjective that had flashed red behind my eyes like an emergency exit sign: fierce. Finally, I decided: “Dangerous?”

Now Archer full-on laughed, gripping his belly, shaking his head. Drops of saltwater flew from his short hair. “Seriously?!” he exclaimed. “Come on, they’re freaks but they’re not, like...that kind of freaks.”

“Are you sure?” I was starting to feel better already. Of course they’re not actual demons, you fucking idiot. This is Washington, not The Twilight Zone or Black Mirror. Not goddamn American Horror Story.

“Yeah.” Archer skipped a grey pebble over the water, something I’d never been able to do. “I’ll be honest, I don’t know them all that well. They usually keep to themselves. But I’ve never heard anything bad about any of the kids. And everyone respects Dr. Lee and appreciates him for taking the pay cut to come to some bumblefuck town like Forks. He’s insanely highly credentialed, has degrees from Harvard or Yale or somewhere like that. Super impressive. We’re lucky to have him. I definitely sleep better at night knowing he’ll be the one to fix me up if I ever get a few fingers ripped off on the job.”

“Don’t even say that. Then who would I grossly overpay for oil changes?”

Archer smiled, then sobered as he peered out over the Pacific Ocean.

“What?” I asked, feeling a plummeting in my guts like primal fear.

“Well...okay, so there is one thing that’s always bothered me. You remember Grandpa Foxchild?”

“Yeah, of course.” He had been an impossibly ancient man with long grey braided hair, a low rumbly voice, gnarled arthritic hands, ceaseless wrinkles. I remembered Charlie calling me when he passed away last spring. Renee and I had picked out a flower arrangement to send to the funeral.

“So,” Archer said slowly, like he was still puzzling it out himself. “Grandpa used to say things like ‘That Dr. Lee has been around a long time.’ Which of course makes no sense, the Lees moved here like two years ago. And I’d tell Grandpa that, but he completely ignored me. He would just keep repeating it. ‘That Dr. Lee shouldn’t still be here.’ ‘That Dr. Lee should go on home to where he came from.’ ‘That Dr. Lee isn’t right.’ Creepy shit like that. My dad and I always assumed it was the dementia talking, but...I don’t know. It just bothered me. Because Grandpa...he wasn’t just being gossipy or suspicious. He was angry. And he was afraid. Grandpa was at Guadalcanal and Iwo Jima and he would talk about that no problem, mention landmines or flesh melting off a soldier’s face like it was nothing. He was a tough guy. Immeasurably tough, I’ll never be half the man he was. But if you mentioned the Lees, Grandpa got scared. Why the hell would he be so scared of them?”

I didn’t have an answer for him, not a single word. I just stared at Archer, my eyes growing huge, my heart sprinting, blood pounding in my ears. He knew. Grandpa Foxchild knew there was something off about them, and now I know it too. I don’t know how I know, but I do.

Archer tittered nervously. “Anyway, that was genuinely disturbing. But like I said. It was probably just the dementia.”

“What if it wasn’t?”

“It had to be,” he insisted. “There’s no other logical explanation.”

“I guess,” I agreed, scooping up the green shore crab corpse with my bare hands. I hurled it out into the waves, imagined it sinking through murky water and suspended grains of sand, the body settling into prehistoric silt, the scavengers descending upon it, the inescapable wheel of birth and death and resurrection through those who unwittingly carry our atoms with them into the next generation, into the perpetual future.

That night my dreams were full of pale skin and scorching eyes, Ben and Joe and Rami, Lucille and Scarlett, crashing waves, cold water and bleached bones; and Grandpa Foxchild’s mistrustful refrain: That Dr. Lee has been around a long time.

Benjamin

I soared down the staircase and through the dining room. Gwil was working late at the hospital, Mercy outside tending the animals, everyone else presumably scattered throughout the house. I had to get out before anyone noticed me. I had to get out without Rami or Lucy knowing.

I yanked open the door to the back porch. Rami was waiting there.

“Good evening,” he greeted me in that slow, thoughtful drawl.

“Stay the fuck out of my head.”

“You know how it works, Benny Boy. I can’t ignore the loud thoughts. And you’ve been having some very loud thoughts lately.”

I stared down at my shoes, all black Adidas. Black is good. It doesn’t show stains. For example, purely hypothetically, splatters of human blood and organs. “I can make it quick. I can make it painless.”

Rami’s aura flared maroon; not enraged, no, not quite that, but certainly revolted. I was always finding new and horrifying ways to revolt them, whether I was trying to or not. “She has a family, Ben. A father. You know Chief Swan, you’ve seen him around town. He’s a good person. She’s a good person. You really want to do this? You really want to relapse like this?”

I didn’t reply. I didn’t have to. Hearing thoughts is a tricky thing, and not a gift that I would ever want; unspoken words are rarely a steam and usually a storm, disjointed and twisting, interrupting each other, bottomless layers of whispers and screams. But I was sure Rami could catch the important parts: that I didn’t know the difference between good and bad people, that I didn’t know what to think of people at all, that for me her blood was not a desire but a compulsion. I couldn’t stop envisioning it spilling over my tongue and teeth, down my throat, hot and pulsing erratically and fading. “Why can’t you hear her? Why can’t I see what she’s feeling?”

Rami shrugged, characteristically placid and restrained. It was maddening. “There are seven and a half billion people on this planet. So maybe every once in a while you get one that lives in our blind spots, there’s something chromosomal or psychological that puts them on a different frequency. I don’t know. How the hell should I know? All I know is that you definitely shouldn’t be seriously considering...well. What you’re considering.”  

“Have you ever met someone whose thoughts you couldn’t hear before?”

“No,” Rami admitted; and was that a ghost of unease that crossed his face?

“Please, Rami. Let me go. Pretend you never saw me.” My words come out strained, hushed, like a spilled secret, like a confession. I’ve never wanted anyone’s blood like I want hers.

He heard that; I could see the dismay in his eyes. Now his aura is dark grey, almost black. Disappointment. Resignation. Mourning. “I told you what Lucy saw.”

“What she saw is impossible and you know it.”

Again, Rami shrugged. That blind, mindless faith. I wished I knew what it felt like. “She’s never wrong.”

“Have you told him?”

“Who, Joe?! Of course I haven’t told Joe. He...”

“He wouldn’t believe it either?” I snapped, like it was a victory.

“No,” Rami amended carefully. “No, he would believe anything Lucy saw.” Lucy had visions: flashes of the future, the past, the present. They were rare and unpredictable, often fragmented, snapshots rather than arcs. But they were always true. Or, rather, the other Lees claimed they were. The real Lees. “I don’t know what he would do about it,” Rami said finally. “So I’m waiting it out. And killing one of the primary participants is definitely not waiting it out.”

I seethed as I glared at him, hating him in that moment, hating myself only slightly more; and he heard that too. But then that wispy, fleeting haze around him was a pink like the last threads of sunlight sinking into the Western horizon. Forgiveness. Attachment. Love.

“Come with me, Ben,” Rami said gently, opening the door. “Come back inside. You can beat this. You’re better than this. You’re a good soul. You wouldn’t be with us if you weren’t.”

I tried to laugh. It came out like a snarl. “I haven’t had a soul in a long time.”

[ravenbrenna09]

masterpiece

Title: masterpiece

Square Filled: Soulmates AU

Ship: Robbe IJzermans/Sander Driesen

Trigger Warnings: None applied

Created for @skamevents

So, Soulmate AUs are my absolute favorite trope of any AU ever and I love reading all of them. I love the names on the arms, having the same symbol, I love seeing color only if your soulmate is nearby, but one of my favorites is being connected by their skin. And, with Sander as an artist in canon, I absolutely HAD to use this one. Soulmate AUs absolutely FASCINATE me and so I had to do this one.

Now, because this fic ended up being WAY MORE than what I wanted it to be, it physically will not fit in this text box, so I will be putting the first scene of the fic into this with a read more link at the bottom (note: this is the same scene as my masterpiece snippet that I posted a few days ago). So, I hope you enjoy the rest of this chapter. 

...

Read on AO3

...

Thursday was not Robbe’s day. 

Thursday was, by far, Robbe’s longest and physically draining day. While his first class of the day didn’t start until a little before 12:00, his day wouldn’t end until about 23:00 which was when the library closed down. To add to his torture of a long day, thanks to extending his own shift so Amber could be picked up by her mother on her way home from work, his classes on Thursdays were particularly draining, filled with dry teachers that talked to the board and ignored any and all questions. 

Letting out a sigh, Robbe turned to his introductory essay which was pulled up in another tab of the computer in front of him. The head of the department didn’t care about them working on homework, as long as their other jobs were done first, and Robbe had already put up the remaining books in the library, straightened up the desks where the student workers sat, and filed away a stack or two of files for one of his superiors. 

Now, that all of his librarian work was done, at least until someone returned a book to the circulation counter and he would go off in search of its rightful spot, Robbe could focus on this essay, or a story, that his writing teacher had assigned as an “introduction” to their mindset as writers. And, the topic that had been chosen by his other 25 classmates was soulmates. 

He let out a breath of air, burying his face in his hands.

Robbe hated soulmates. 

Or, rather, he hated the idea of soulmates. 

As a kid, Robbe would sit and watch his mother doodle on her skin with her favorite pen, watch the curve of her letters, her small doodles of flowers, appear on the exact same spot on his father’s hand. His parents would smile at each other, love in their eyes, and tease each other when the other got a stain on their hand because it affected both of them. 

To little six-year-old Robbe, soulmates were everything that he had to offer and he thought that he didn’t have one because doodles never appeared on his skin. His mother had giggled at him, informing him that his soulmate’s doodles wouldn’t appear until after he reached puberty. Little Robbe had been confused as to why he had to wait, he now knew that the changing hormones and chemicals in the body at puberty that caused the connection to show fully, but no one, not even people researching and studying soulmates, could pinpoint how soulmates are chosen or when. 

To present-day, eighteen-year-old Robbe, soulmates were crap. 

His parents had been soulmates, had fallen in love, and got married, having Robbe shortly after. For the first eight years of Robbe’s life, his parents had been happily in love with one another. His father loved being home, loved cuddling his wife on the couch, to the point that Robbe would call them disgusting and throw a pillow at them and they would laugh. Then, his parents started fighting about little things, small minuscule details that shouldn’t matter. As the years went on, the fights got worse, louder and louder until Robbe couldn’t sleep at night anymore, sneaking out of his house and going to his best friend’s house to crash. Then, his father left them alone, found another woman who made him happier, and his mother spiraled, leaving Robbe caught in between, trying to help her.

His parents were soulmates and they had fallen out of love. 

If the one person that you were destined to be with was supposed to leave you anyways, what was the point of having the ability to connect with them on a physical level?

Letting out a sigh, Robbe reached out, typing angrily. Soulmates are fucking stupid.

“Woah there,” Zoë teased, walking up with a cup of coffee in her hand. 

Zoë was a barista and one of Robbe’s roommates. At the beginning of the year, Robbe had moved into the three-bedroom flatshare with her and a senior, Milan, because Robbe was not going to live with his dad, not after what he did to his mom, not with him and his new girlfriend. It was a minor miracle that the two of them had been so willing and that his father had been so understanding. His father wanted him to live in the dorms, but it was too expensive for Robbe. He was barely surviving month-to-month as it was and living in the dorms would be almost double the cost. 

“What’s wrong?” Zoë questioned. 

“What isn’t wrong?” Robbe questioned. “Of all the topics my writing class had to pick for our introductory assignment, they picked soulmates.” Zoë scrunched up her nose, understanding. “And, I can’t think of anything to write other than soulmates are fucking stupid.” As if she didn’t believe him, he turned the screen towards her and she stood on her toes to look, letting out a light breath through her nose. He let out a sigh, straightening the computer back. “Think that will get me full points?”

“I doubt it.” Zoë laughed. “Here, it’s from Chloë.”

“Again?” Robbe questioned. Chloë was a barista at the café, who had a crush on Robbe so obvious that even he could see it, which was saying something. When it came to realizing people having feelings for him, he didn’t have the best track record. Despite the fact that Robbe had several relationships, almost all of them had been as a result of the other person making the first move. “How many times have you told her that she’s not my type?” 

“Robbe,” Zoë laughed, reaching out to pat his head with a tone that says many times. “I think the only way she’s going to be convinced that you aren’t interested in her is if she finds you making out with a guy. Not that I can blame her. You are a cute boy. Whether you want to admit it or not.” Robbe rolled his eyes before spotting the purple writing on the back of her hand. Zoë caught his gaze and scoffed. “My soulmate’s latest ‘conquest’,” she remarked, pivoting the hand towards Robbe so he could see. 

Had a good time tonight was followed by a phone number, only the final digit was smudged. 

Robbe knew that he had a soulmate, of course, but his soulmate wasn’t the type of person who slept around a lot, or if they did, they didn’t have girls writing numbers on the back of their hand in hopes of a second round. 

On his sixteenth birthday, his best friend, Jens, had jokingly drawn a poor excuse of a birthday cake and sixteen candles on the back of his right hand (and Robbe will never admit to anyone how disappointed he was that it didn’t show up on Jens’ hand). Within an hour, as he sat in his biology class, his soulmate, whoever they were, had drawn an arrow to it and wrote awful, zero stars on booking.com before proceeding to draw a perfectly drawn cake, in pen, with the exact number on the candles, on the back of his left hand. The drawing looked perfect, meticulous, and every year, on that same day, another cake would appear on his hand with an additional candle.

Robbe had a soulmate. 

Even if he didn’t want one. 

Zoë let out a heavy sigh, pulling him back into the world of the present. “Every morning I wake up with a new number on my hand is another morning I question if you have the right idea,” she admitted, staring at her hand. “Soulmates are crap. I’m always half-tempted to call the number, tell her that he’s just going to find someone else, but what’s the point, right? Plus, it’s missing a digit.” 

“Save a woman from getting her hopes up, probably. But, don’t worry,” Robbe remarked. “I’m sure he’ll get his head out of his ass soon.” 

“Excuse me,” a voice remarked, over Zoë’s shoulder. 

The two of them pivoted to find that a blond-haired man was standing behind them. The man was stunning, absolutely breathtaking as though he had been carved from stone. There was a black-beanie resting lightly on his head, covering the strands of white-blonde hair that poked out from the edge, and he had a pair of bright green eyes that were slightly hidden by the black-framed glasses on his nose. He was dressed in a pair of denim jeans, black converse, and a t-shirt with an artist that he didn’t recognize beneath his black hoodie. 

Robbe felt his breath catch in his throat. 

Looking like that in a hoodie, glasses, and a beanie was ridiculously unfair.

Especially to Robbe. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation,” he continued, pushing up his green bag further up his shoulder. “But, I need to check out this book for my art history class.” 

“Of course,” Robbe replied, his voice cracking a little. There was a knowing look on Zoë’s face, a familiar eyebrow raised that she generally reserved only for Milan, as she shuffled to the side, taking the coffee with her. The man stepped forward, placing the book on the edge of the counter, and Robbe took the book from him, eager to make sure their hands didn’t touch. “Sorry about that. Do you have your id?”

“Yeah, it’s in here somewhere,” the man replied, digging his wallet out of his bag. He found it, handing it over to Robbe, their fingers brushing ever so slightly, almost like it was on purpose. Robbe felt a jolt shoot up his hand as he took the id in his hands, switching to the electronic check-out system, typing in his student id number and scanning the book. A name popped up. Sander Driesen.

Once Robbe had deactivated the electric security in the spine, he placed his id on top of the cover and slid it across the counter, “Here you go.” Robbe kept his hand on the other side of the book, making sure to pull his own hand away before Sander reached out to grab it. He took the book from the counter, grabbing his id and slipping it into his pocket. “It’ll be due on the 17th of next month.”

Sander sent him a grin, a slightly confident, slightly wicked grin, like he somehow managed to know the effect that he was having on Robbe and his already jumbled mind, almost as much as Zoë did. “Thank you, Robbe,” he remarked. At Robbe’s confused, puzzled look, Sander’s eyes dropped down to his chest and Robbe looked finding his nametag, wanting to slap his forehead. He glanced towards Zoë, who was still hanging off to the side with her chin against her palm, and Robbe thought he saw his eyes flicker down to her hand, recognition in his eyes, but then, Sander was smiling at her and saying to her, all confident and charming, “Sorry about interrupting your conversation.” 

“It’s completely okay,” Zoë replied. “I was about to leave anyway.”

Sander moved off, grinning at her, and Zoë handed Robbe his coffee, a knowing glint in her eye as she boosted herself up over the counter to press a kiss against his cheek. He shoved her away, wiping away the residue of her signature red lipstick, and Zoë ran out the door, giggling all the way and promising to save him some leftovers from dinner. Robbe let out a sigh, trying to return to his essay on stupid soulmates, but found his eyes looking for Sander, who had disappeared.

Read The Rest on AO3

[tired-enjolras]

Capable of Being Terrible. Enjolras/Grantaire.

Read on AO3

NEXT CHAPTER HERE

Warnings: alcoholism, smoking, addiction/recovery arc.

Genre: Angst-Hurt/Comfort.

Words: 1297.

Summary: It’s a hard semester for everyone, Combeferre and Joly are working an internship, Éponine works two jobs and somehow gets it all done, and Grantaire drinks himself an inch from incoherent every night. Enjolras doesn’t have it worse than anyone - better than most, actually. But this year keeps knocking Enjolras down and, for the first time, cannot figure how to get back up again.

CHAPTER ONE.

It was Friday night. Every other student in the city was off doing something fun and frivolous. Enjolras was not. He was not one for fun until work was complete. The blonde man could laugh louder and harder than all of his friends and co-workers combined, but he’d simply have to party on Saturday instead. He was only days out from the start of exams week. Desires could wait. His computer was open on the bed, resting on a red pillowcase and gray sheets. It was playing a documentary film about the Paris Climate Accords that was required for a biology class - his lowest grade this semester was this class. He cared about science and certainly about climate change, but he was just fundamentally bad at the subject. There were others who could handle it. Enjolras could be the change in other areas.

Enjolras did not focus on the monitor, but instead his hand scrawled ferociously in a yellow spiral-bound notebook. One could hardly blame him for his excitement. Not only had he prepared a new pamphlet for his student political organization - which he would need to remember to copy at the library the next day - but he had discovered this American politician called Harvey Milk. He was working on final stage research and outlining for a research project on him for his World LGBT Advocacy class. That remained one of about two classes that were worth him expending a fuck on during this particular semester.

The number of credits he had chosen was much too high. 7 classes (one having a lab) was an irrational choice. It was Enjolras’ first year funding half of his own housing off-campus. He worked a real job. As real as scanning books and accepting payment could be. This, really, was the first year Enjolras had learned that everyone was correct in telling him that he was incapable of doing everything he assumed he could.

He did not live alone, but it felt like he did. The other half of the rent was supposed to be paid by Combeferre, who had been gracious and helpful and always so willing to do his part. Until he wasn’t and moved out. Combeferre had moved in with a very tall and very stupid man that Enjolras sincerely enjoyed named Courfeyrac. The two men cared terribly for each other, so Enjolras was happy to see them be able to make a sort of home together. Combeferre’s replacement was not gracious or helpful and almost never willing to do his part. René Grantaire had crashed into the apartment like a car fire. Enjolras was decently sure he would not enjoy his time with Grantaire whatsoever; that they would be professional and nothing more to each other. That never happened. Initially, he was very pleased that Grantaire never imposed an organizational system for Enjolras because everything he had sat in stacks, falling off of shelves and spread across each open surface. Grantaire picked up on this philosophy and effortless operated within it. For a while, they seemed to make perfect sense to each other.

In mornings, Grantaire would get coffee brewing, immediately being able to remember how Enjolras took it. In exchange, Enjolras would sit in destroyed stack of leaflet rough drafts and crack an egg and a shot of hot sauce into a glass for Grantaire. They moved in perfect sync like Aristophanes four-limbed love people. Before too long, they stopped being roommates and started being bedmates. Their relationship lacked definition, but both miraculously kept their affections exclusive and they liked this way.

Then Grantaire’s drinking, once consisting of some wine, a few beers and maybe one or two of something a little stiffer over the course of an entire week turned into several bottles of wine, a case of beer and empty liquor bottles collecting in the trashbagless bin in front of the kitchen sink. So Enjolras tried to take some actions.

The bedroom door swung open.

“Good evening, mon Ange,” Grantaire often called him this. My Angel. Grantaire thought was funny because he may as well have been saying Mon Enj. My Enjolras. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...”

Grantaire stood, leading against the doorframe. Whether for physical support or confident swagger was still unclear. He looked bad. Enjolras felt sick to his stomach to consider saying that about this person he cared for, Grantaire could never really look bad to him, but he was glassy eyed and sallow. Grantaire pushed himself off of the door, and walked to the side of the bed, crouching to his knees to throw an arm around Enjolras flat to the bed body.

“You smell like alcohol.” Enjolras stared plainly.

Grantaire scoffed. “Good nose you’ve got there,” he reached out and gently flicked Enjolras across the nose. “I was, in fact, drinking.”

Enjolras sighed, refusing to look over at his... whatever they were. If he looked at him now, he would get emotional. Hysterical or angry, it wasn’t yet clear which. “We talked about this.”

“I know, but look at me—“

“Hey, how much did you drink?”

“Oh, am I being cross-examined now?”

Enjolras sat up on his knees in bed, Grantaire’s arm sliding away. He was looking at the darker haired man now. His blue-green eyes burned. “No, but I can call a witness, if you’d like...” he extended his fingers to the other side of the bed for his phone. Marius would know. Éponine perhaps was there. Bahoral, or Courf, maybe. Wouldn’t take too many calls to figure it out.

“Lord God Almighty, Enj... Fine. A lot. Lost count after a couple rounds. But it’s Friday. I’m...” Grantaire cleared his throat, trying to sober his voice up some. “I’m not working tomorrow. Big deal. Don’t you ever get tired of talking about ol’ me?”

“Friday’s fantastic, but what about every other day that isn’t Friday?”

“It’s social. I’m social.”

“Grantaire.”

Fuck. “Mhmm?”

Enjolras’ jaw was tight. He was not going to yell. It was after midnight and the neighbors would call their pig of a landlord again. “Couch tonight.”

“It’s Friday!”

“René,” Enjolras had said this in the voice that mothers use when their child doesn’t understand why they can’t keep sticking their hand in the cookie jar. It was not mean, it was firm. Final. Grantaire sat up a little straighter. “Couch. Please. I love you to pieces, but this is getting fucking ridiculous. Sleep it off.”

Slowly, Grantaire raised himself to his full height. “You win. You always win. Happy?” He braced an arm on the bed and leaned down to plant a kiss on the top of Enjoras’ curls. The brunette swiped a discarded blanket off of this ugly leopard print chair that sat in the corner. Grantaire walked through the door, not bothering with a change of clothes for bed and shut it quietly behind him.

Enjolras was far from happy. It had been so truly okay and it’s not anymore. Everything was too much. Homework, organizing that protest, holding the pieces together for Grantaire when there’s clearly more going on than what he wants to share. Grantaire was Enjolras’ most important person and he was going to watch him finish his degree if it killed them both. Dear Reader, do not think for a second that Enjolras believed Grantaire was some kind of burden. He wasn’t. Enjolras loved him too much to ever consider him to be one, he just was unsure of how best to be supportive. No one ever supported Grantaire so Enjolras would simply have to be that person. There were too many things to care about in Enjolras’ life, too many problems. But that had historically been where he thrived. And Enjolras would find the time to fix them all. He always did.

[nursing-assignment-help]

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[angelbabyszn]

Stop Playing Games (Cesar X Reader)

OMB Masterlist

B/F/N - Best Friend

Playing Games was playing in the background on your speaker on a late Thursday while you closed your math notebook finishing homework tonight.

Not even a moment later, your best friend was calling you on your phone.

"What's up, chica! How are you? Guess what I just found out!" said B/F/N excitedly.

"What?" you asked while you flopped on your bed with your back.

"I heard somebody said Cesar likes you!" said B/F/N squealing on the other side of the phone.

"That's nothing new, B/F/N. You don't think I know that? Also that's old." you said while rolling your eyes.

"So? What are you going to do with the information?"

"Nothing. He doesn't show that he likes me." you said.

"He probably hasn't shown any signs because he's nervous around you."

"Nervous? Are you serious right now? There's a difference between being nervous around somebody you like versus not being interested. I'm 100% positive he's not interested." you said making your statement.

"Well I think he is. Give him a chance, Y/N. Not all guys are the same."

"Well in Freeridge, it kinda is." you said as you thought about all of the boys in Freeridge.

"Y/N, I don't know why it's taking you so long to get somebody. Can you at least go on a date once?

"I'm being cautious. Nothing wrong with being cautious and having high standards. Also stop whining. What are you, three?" you said rolling your eyes again.

"I know. I just want you to be happy." said B/F/N kinda sad.

"I am happy. With you and my family, I'm happy and fine. A boy isn't necessary." you said and you look at your alarm clock on your bed table to see the time.

"Look, if this makes you happy, I'll observe Cesar all day tomorrow and see if he likes me or not, okay?" you said sighing because you didn't want to do this. 

"Great! We're doing our point system tomorrow to determine. Goodnight Y/N."

"Fine. Goodnight B/F/N." you said and both of you hung up on each other and went to sleep.

-

The next day, you were talking to B/F/N as she was getting her supplies for the next class.

You turn your head to the left to see Cesar walking down the hall with his guy friend, Ruby. 

"Hi Cesar." you said with a smile and Cesar looked at you and said hey. Ruby and him turned a corner to go down another hallway.

"Well, that just gave me the first point of today." you said and B/F/N shut her locker and looked at you crazy.

"Are you serious? That doesn't count! He said hey to you!" said B/F/N with a side-eye.

"Yeah, it does. He didn't say my name or even look at me more than five seconds." you said proving your point of view.

"Man! I was rooting for him!" said B/F/N and she made a pouty face and crossed her arms against her chest upset.

"Awe baby. Don't worry. There's still a whole day ahead of us. So you could still get points." you said kinda sarcastically so B/F/N don't expect it.

The late bell rang and both of you quickly ran to your first class of the day.

You and B/F/N arrived into Biology class late, which everybody looked at you once entering the room.

"Wow. I've never expected you two to be late. What's the excuse?" asked the teacher, Ms. Anna. 

"We were talking in the hall." you said and B/F/N nodded in agreement.

"Well, go find your new assigned seats, and we will start our lesson." said Ms. Anna and both of you quickly go around the room to go to your new assigned seats.

You found your name and you looked up to see Cesar, Jamal, and Monse at your table. You saw that you have to sit right next to Cesar and you sat down at the table with your supplies.

"Hey Y/N." said Monse and Jamal syncing with a smile.

"Hey guys." you said. You start writing in your notebook as you look on the board to see the title and objectives of the lesson.

A few minutes later, Ms. Anna was explaining a diagram of the heart and you were trying to pay attention while fighting your urge to sleep right now.

As you drew the diagram and did points right next to the picture, you felt somebody staring deep into your soul.

You turned your head where you felt the tension to see Cesar staring at you.

"Cesar? You okay over there?" you asked with a confused and concerned look on your face.

Cesar kept staring at you for another moment until he shook his head.

"Yeah. Just kinda...dazed off." said Cesar with a little chuckle.

Cesar looked away from you and looked out of the window right beside him. He has his left hand on the back of his neck and starts to rub it back and forth repeatedly.

You shrugged your shoulders and looked back at the board where Ms. Anna started playing a video as another visual to understand.

Not even a minute into it, you felt your phone buzz in your purse. You look up seeing Ms. Anna and she was typing on the other computer.

You get out your phone, lower your light and put it underneath the table so the teacher won't see it. You looked at the notification and saw B/F/N text you.

You look up and see B/F/N giving you a wink from another table. She was sitting with Ruby. You rolled your eyes and read her text.

B/F/N👯‍♀️❤️: I saw that! 

You: Saw what? 🥴 

B/F/N👯‍♀️❤️: You and Cesar! Who else? 💀 

You: Oh. That was nothing. 

B/F/N👯‍♀️❤️: That was something! Cesar was looking at you and he looked away nervous! That's a point for me!

You looked at Cesar as he was copying down notes he missed from Jamal without knowing. You looked back down at your phone.

You: Fine 💀 You win this round. 

B/F/N👯‍♀️❤️: Yasss 🎉

You rolled your eyes, shut your phone down and put it back in your purse. You start writing down notes again from the video until the lunch bell rings.

-

You and B/F/N quickly grabbed your lunches and went outside to the lunch tables that were available.

You and B/F/N sat down and started eating while chatting. Cesar and his friends walked out from the cafeteria to the outside lunch tables.

"Guys, let's sit with them." said Cesar with a smile at his friends and they agreed.

The core four walked over to your table and sat around. Cesar sat right next to you.

B/F/N turned to you and mouth the word 'b*tch' once she saw you next to Cesar and you mouthed 'stop'. All six of you start to eat your lunch and have a conversation with each other.

Fifteen minutes later, you were posing as B/F/N and took pictures of you near a wall outside. You felt cute today since it was a Friday.

Cesar turned his head from his friends to you taking photos in front of the school brick wall. Cesar looked down and back up staring at you with a grin.

Cesar got up and walked up right next to B/F/N as they were taking photos of you.

B/F/N turned her head to see Cesar looking at you while you were posing. His grin gained even bigger which caused him to look down with his hands in his pockets of his black jeans as he felt his face becoming hot.

B/F/N turned back to you with a smirk and you gave her a "shut up" look.

"Yo Y/N, can I take a picture with you?" asked Cesar with a shy smile.

"Sure." you said trying to act casual and Cesar walked over and stand right next to you. You and Cesar start taking a few photos together as B/F/N takes them.

"Awe, look at y'all." said B/F/N with a stupid grin on their face while taking a another photo.

"Okay, that's enough." you said as you walked up to B/F/N as she snatched your phone from her.

The bell ring signaling lunch was over and students start to pick up their lunches, throw away their leftovers, and start going to their next class.

You and B/F/N start walking to your next class together until Cesar stops the both of you.

"Y/N, can you not post those photos if you happen to do later? Thanks." said Cesar and left right before you could respond.

"What?" you said and looked at B/F/N and they gave you a confused face.

-

A few hours later, you and B/F/N were getting ready at your house for a throwback party at Ruby's for the ending of a decade as it's soon about to be 2020.

"So, let's get the facts straight. He said hi but didn't look at me for more than five seconds. He also sounded annoyed when he said it. So, a point for me." you said while you were curling your hair in the bathroom with the door open.

"Yes, but I think he was just tired in the morning. Biology class. He was literally staring at you! You didn't feel that?! An obvious point for me." B/F/N said as she was putting on makeup at your makeup counter in your room.

"Fine. I'll give you that. What about lunch? He convinced his friends to sit by us." You said as you turned off the curly iron and walked back to your room to put on your high heels.

"I'm giving that point to you. He asked to take a photo with you! That's a full on point for me! It's so obvious! said B/F/N as she fixes up her hair in front of the mirror.

"Whatever. It all depends tonight at this throwback party. I'm ready to listen to all of my childhood songs." you said with a smile.

You and B/F/N grab your purses with your phones inside and start to walk to Ruby's party.

-

A few minutes later, you and B/F/N arrived at the party. All of the songs from 2010 till now we're playing to remember the decade you and everybody else grew up in.

"I’m going to get us some drinks and then we can party!" said B/F/N excitedly and screamed on top of her lungs as she went through the crowd to go to the kitchen.

You look around you until you see Cesar...with another girl that is known as Olivia.

You just start to stare at them as they are laughing and being flirty with each other. You were just over Cesar and his games.

Right before you could confront Cesar, you hear Ruby saying "Who wants to play seven minutes of heaven?" though the microphone in the living room.

Right before you could quickly run away, B/F/N turns you around and pushes you to the living room with force. 

-

"Okay y'all. You know how to play." said Ruby and he put the bottle on the coffee table. You look around the living room to see who was playing.

You groaned as you shut your eyes when you saw Cesar was the first person to spin.

Without looking, you hear the bottle spin for a few moments until it stops. You didn't hear anybody speaking. You opened your eyes and they widened as you saw the bottle was pointing at you.

"Since I don't have a closet, y'all got a guess room down the hall to the right." said Ruby.

Cesar got up from his seat along with you. You followed Cesar into the bedroom and once you entered, Cesar closed the door.

You sat on the edge of the bed and Cesar walked over and sat right next to you.

You were looking down to the floor. Even though you never wanted to play, you never expect to go first.

You looked at Cesar. Cesar turned his head, and you quickly stopped looking at him.

"Y/N?" asked Cesar, staring at you.

"Yeah?" you asked as you turned to look at him. Your heart skipped a beat once you saw Cesar looking deep into his eyes.

"I'm sick of the lies we keep on telling each other." said Cesar, making your eyes widen as you thought of all of the lies you told Cesar.

"What do you mean?" you asked with a confused face.

"We like each other but we're too nervous to even talk to each other." said Cesar and you look away from Cesar. 

You look back up at him as you start to stare into his eyes. Cesar's eyes were looking deep into yours, just speaking for themselves.

"Y/N, I'm falling for you. I need to know if you feel the same way." said Cesar and you gained a red blush on your face.

You start to lean in and he closes the gap between. He gives you a slow passionate kiss. You kissed him back a moment later until somebody knocked on the door.

"Yo, times up lovers! It's quiet in there." said B/F/N though the door making Cesar end the kiss.

"I'm falling for you too, Cesar." you said shyly and Cesar gave you the biggest smile he could do and gave you another kiss.

Cesar pulled out his left hand and you grabbed it. You both got up and opened the door to see B/F/N with her phone out.

"Y'all did it! Y/N, how do you feel?!" shouted B/F/N as she zooms in to your face recording.

"We didn't do anything but guess who got a boyfriend now." you said and B/F/N zoomed out in video to take a view of you and Cesar's hands together.

"Finally! I won! Y'all better invite me to y'all wedding." said B/F/N as she took a view of both of us.

"Turn that off. We still got to get you with Ruby." you said with a smirk and B/F/N quickly ran of sight scared making you and Cesar laughed.

You and Cesar did another kiss and walked back to the party as boyfriend and girlfriend.

[hatsukeii]

Pt.2 to the Karasuno boys during the coronavirus quarantine, this time it’s gonna be Kags, Yams, and Hinata w their s/o, which ig is gonna be you in a few situations.

🌊Kageyama🌊

- “How much milk do we have at home mom?”

- “Fuck, we’re running out of milk”

- “She really expects us to understand this shit? This is Zoom not fucking Khan Academy, she’s not that great.”

- Probably one of the bulk buyers Tsukishima shits on.

- Realises he only has one carton of normal milk at home.

- So this boy goes out and buys like 4 cartons of different flavoured milks. Strawberry? Chocolate? Banana? Melon? Yes.

- And do you think he doesn’t finish it? Ohohoho you are mistaken. This bitch somehow finishes all of them in the span of a week.

- Tries to write notes during online classes.

- Fails miserably.

- Does not understand a thing the teacher is saying.

- Would rather die than admit that to Hinata.

- He’s not allowed out of the house but you are.

- Which means study dates are a frequent event during the quarantine.

- You’re now his personal English and Science tutor.

- “What the fuck is a mitochondria?”

- “It’s the powerhouse of the cell sweetie.”

- Is so fond of you he voluntarily gives you some of the flavoured milk he fought middle aged women to buy, but he obviously would try to cover up that soft spot he has for you.

- “I had to snatch it from the fridge before a Karen who bought five of the same flavour did, you better finish it and grow the fuck taller.”

- Volleyball “practise” in his room after the tutoring.

- He teaches you how to do basic shit like receive, serve, and of course, set.

- You fail miserably all the time, just saying. But good news is, that doesn’t matter. None of it does.

-All Kageyama lives for is that cheeky smile every time you fuck up a move. That victory dance you do after you finally succeed. The tight hugs you give him, thanking him for teaching you how to play volleyball. It’s all those little things that he absolutely adores. He wouldn’t exchange you for the world.

🍃Yamaguchi🍃

- “Do you have your hand sanitiser?”

- “Put your mask on, stay safe!”

- “You’re out of masks? I’ll be right there, I have five extra boxes”

- Extra cautious about the virus because his immune system isn’t the best.

- Has a stash of food at home, ready to be cooked anytime.

- Isn’t allowed to go anywhere farther than the neighbourhood.

- Hates online classes with his whole heart, but still attends them to maintain his grades.

- Actually really smart, takes very nice notes in class.

- Anything you want or need, he’s gonna get it for you.

- Meat buns? No problem. Boba? Easy. Hotel? Trivago.

- Since you guys are good at different subjects, you go to his house to help him with English, Philosphy, and Biology.

- And he comes over to yours to help you with Maths, Chemistry, and History.

- And he surprisingly, likes subtle dark political humour. A lot.

- “What is covalent bonding supposed to be the fuck?”

- “Think about it like communism.”

- Yamaguchi is actually a very, very good teacher.

- (Way better than when you asked Tsukishima for help, but don’t tell him that or he’ll get salty.)

- Guess what ya boy Yams can cook to save both your lives.

- Every time he walks out of your house you’re equipped with five new quarantine recipes to make for your entire family.

- After every “tutoring” session, comes the movie session.

- You introduce him to classic movies and go all the way back to watch films from the 80s-90s.

- It’s been about 3 weeks and you’ve managed to watch Pulp Fiction, Dead Poet’s Society, Breakfast At Tiffany’s, Forrest Gump, Top Gun, all those oldies.

- Movie sessions consist of cuddles, forehead kisses, hair braiding, more kisses, tickle battles, and falling asleep on Yamaguchi, your head snuggled in his chest while he plays with strands of your hair, thinking about how lucky he is to have someone like you that cares.

☀️Hinata☀️

- “Hinata get your ass back to bed.”

- “It’s 5am dude lessons start at 8am go back to sleep.”

- “I swear I love you but I will block you.”

- Good luck getting his jumpy ass to sit the fuck down.

- Constantly waiting for the quarantine to end. (Spoiler alert: it’s gonna take about a month or two more.)

- Since he’s so used to getting up at 5am for volleyball training and school, his mental alarm clock wakes him up at 5am too, even though all he has to do is go on a website.

- Tries to catch up in class while calling Kageyama.

- Fails. Terribly.

- Doesn’t understand a thing the teacher says, even after bombarding her with questions.

- Probably doesn’t think he needs a mask, so you force him to wear one if he ever had to go out.

- Isn’t allowed out of the house at all because apparently someone in his neighbourhood was infected and diagnosed with COVID-19.

- You’re not allowed to go over either, so you send him all your notes, hoping he doesn’t fail his classes.

- Video calls you to ask for homework answers.

- “I’m not giving you the answers, but you can take my notes, or ask me if you need help.”

- You both have Netflix Party on your computers, so you use that to talk while binging Disney movies at ungodly hours.

- Secretly cries himself to sleep because oh my god this boy misses you so fucking much seriously.

- Gets made fun of by Natsu for being a pansy.

- “Shoyou, it’s not like your girlfriend’s dead, whatcha crying for?”

- Probably stares at photos of you in his phone, reimagining how it feels like for you to be by his side.

- Plans to take you out on as many dates as he can once this whole thing is over. Cuddles and kisses for hours are musts.

[mellowduckprincess-blog]

As aspiring to be a future educator I took it upon myself to reach out to some prior teachers. I did this to see if they had any content that would help myself to be the best future educator possible. When thinking of three teachers to choose from, I wanted to make sure that I picked three candidates that helped me become successful during my school career. The first teacher that I reached out to was my math teacher, Mrs. Angelini from high school. I connected with her through Facebook. She did not have any resources but she was very excited to hear that she had made such an impact in my schooling career. She was also very excited to hear that I am in school to become a teacher. I then reached out to another high school teacher but they were no longer at the school system. With this loss, I continued to trickle down the line. I then decided I would contact my public speaking teacher from Bristol Community College. I emailed her through my old bristol community college email, but I have not heard back from her. I chose to reach out to her as I was a senior in High School taking full-time college classes. During this time she helped me to find my voice and not be so afraid when going up in front of the class. She also introduced me to Herbalife tea that gives energy. I had found this to be very helpful as I was finding myself always tired. I then choose to reach out to Mrs. Cloutier from Seekonk High school. I chose her due to her being my favorite teacher freshman year. There were many changes when going from middle school to high school. She had made this transition wonderful for us as she had always made the class interesting. She gave us time to socialize and be normal students which I really appreciated as many of the other teachers were always yelling.  She was very excited that I had chosen to contact her. Unfortunately, she did not have any information that she thought would help. 

As I had reached out to my teacher’s I unfortunately was not given any resources from the teachers that I had reached out to. So I went to the web and started to research on my own. While doing research for biology-based content, I came across a website called Effective K-12 Science Instruction article. This article was made by Texas A&M University. It opens with, “The Standards apply to all students, regardless of age, gender, cultural or ethnic background, disabilities, aspirations, or interest and motivation in science. Different students will achieve understanding in different ways, and different students will achieve different degrees of depth and breadth of understanding depending on interest, ability, and context. But all students can develop the knowledge and skills described in the Standards, even as some students go well beyond these levels. ” (cmst). To be able to successfully meet the standards it is important that you are able to make a science curriculum that provides excellent science education for all of the students. It is also important that you make connections to previous learning experiences and relate it everyday life. This will help the students to understand what they are learning rather than letting it go in one ear and out the other. You want your students to be able to develop deeper understandings of the material they are learning so that they can meet the learning targets. The first most effective strategy they have found is Enhanced Context Strategies. This talks about being able to relate the context to previous context students have used. Also, by relating the context to what is happening in the world, community, etc. When beginning a new topic it has been found that KWL (what I Know, what I Want to know, and what I Learned). This gives the teacher an opportunity to assess what her students know prior to starting a new topic. It also gives them an opportunity to show what they have learned at the end of the unit through some sort of summative assessment. Some examples of ideas that were provided are use problem- based learning, take students on field trips, Integrate current events, look at the big picture, etc. I found this to be very effective as when I am learning and make connections I am able to remember it a lot better than if I were to hear it out of a textbook. The next most effective strategy is Collaborative grouping strategies. Collaborative grouping works when teachers are able to arrange students in flexible groups, usually 3-4. This means that they are not based on their abilities and there groups are going to change allowing them the opportunity to work with other students. In these groups they are able to solve problems or work on projects. “the ability to collaborate is a necessary shill for success in the real world and requires working with others rather than competing with others”. This quote really stuck out to because it seems as though we are always in a competition with someone else rather than helping them become their best selves. Learning to work together at a young age will allow for more collaboration, respect,  in the workplace when they grow up. It gives them shared responsibilities such as having a leader, timekeeper, materials getter, etc. It also gives them an opportunity to go into material deeper as each student's understanding of it will be a little different. Some examples of collaborative group work are laboratory exercises, inquiry projects, problem-based learning exercises, etc. The next successful strategy for being a science teacher is Questioning strategies. As a teacher we try to create many types of questions for students to answer, some help develop critical thinking, problem-solving and decision-making skills. When asking students questions it gives them an opportunity to express what they know and put in their own opinion. If you are able to successfully make an environment where students feel safe and as though they can be themselves you may even see that they feel comfortable challenging each other's ideas. Allow everyone to listen and learn, this may promote other students to throw in what they know. Although many tests are fact-based, it is important we ask the more open-ended questions that require a deeper understanding of context. It also allows you to observe miscommunication on concepts that the students may have.” Questioning strategies may be used to establish relevance, focus attention, encourage creativity, and to have students recall prior knowledge, make connections, and apply knowledge”. Some examples of questioning strategies are varying time, positioning or cognitive levels of questions, ask more open-ended questions, stop the video at key points and ask questions, etc. The next effective strategy is Inquiry strategies. “According to the National Science Education Standards, “Scientific inquiry refers to the diverse ways in which scientists study the natural world and propose explanations based on the evidence derived from their work. The inquiry also refers to the activities in which [students] develop knowledge and understanding of scientific ideas, as well as an understanding of how scientists study the natural world”” Inquiry allows students to experience the nature of science by allowing them to engage in the practices of science. You want your students to experience the types of designs that a scientist would face. These designs could be descriptive, comparative, experimental, etc. This allows the students to learn how to collect data and understand what they have collected. Instead of using prescriptive laboratory and field exercises allow students to lead investigations. Examples would be a descriptive research design or description study, comparative research design, experimental research design, etc. The fifth effective strategy is Manipulation Strategies. Manipulation strategies allow students to work with direct materials (triple beam balance, microscope, beakers, etc). This means that they are able to manipulate physical objects in order to experience science. This is helpful for visual and kinesthetic learners. This allows students to become active learners. It is their responsibility to build their understandings of the material. Some examples of manipulation strategies are creating a drawing or diagram to illustrate a  process, make a map, create a model, create a graphic organizer such as a concept map, etc. The sixth effective strategy topic is Assessment strategies. “The role of assessment ineffective teaching has broadened from primarily evaluating student achievement to include diagnosing student needs, advising instructional decisions, and auditing student progress.” Your assessments of your students should be ongoing. It is important to give your students effective feedback because if you don't it could hinder their student achievement. As teachers, it is important to use formative assessment. This allows you to accurately make a summative assessment. Many students have test anxiety so if you can as a teacher reduce that. Trying to focus the learning on content-based information rather than basing it off memorization for a test can be very helpful. Some examples of assessment strategies are homework, formative assessment (enable prompt individual feedback to guide learners and inform instruction), self-assessment, quizzes, etc. Another effective strategy is  Instructional Technology Strategy. Instructional technology can help teachers meet the challenges of providing effective instruction.  Instructional technology is many tools such as, computer hardware, electronic measuring, digital cameras, etc.Technology allows us to get simple calculations, information access, and data collection. When doing labs computer simulations allow students to manipulate variables and quickly see results from change. IT allows students to facilitate communication, collaboration, critical thinking, data interpretation, and problem-solving, Some examples of instructional technology strategies are connected with other students or scientists via the internet, use a podcast for instruction, take virtual field trips, etc. The last effective strategy that was found is Enhanced material Strategies.  As a teacher, it is important to be an expert in your content area. If you are not aware of your subject area it’s hard to properly teach it to your students. If a teacher is able to recognize suitable methods for teaching certain concepts in different situations allows them to provide appropriate instruction. Some examples of this are, modify a laboratory exercise to increase the level of inquiry and make it less prescriptive. Rewrite or annotate text material, use graphic organizers to clarify concepts.

When listening to the ted talk it reiterated that as teachers, it is also important that we give out students choices. When students feel that they have a choice they tend to become more interested in what they are working on. When giving them choices try going from a teacher guided classroom to a student guided classroom. This allows the teacher to become more of a “coach” and allows the students to get up front and center. “Education is not the learning of the facts but the training of the mind to think” Albert Einstein. I feel as though when students that attended middle/ high school in the 2000s felt as though everything was based on memorization. We would read text books and reflect. We did not do much partner work or were never given a choice. This phrase spoke volumes to me because you can memorize something but if you aren’t able to connect it with other content, you tend to forget it over time. The ted talk then goes on to talk about how this teacher gives units in 2-3 weeks. When he first introduces the lesson he gives the students “menus”. These menus have many different activities on them. The students are able to chose a certain number of different activities (teacher informs them how many to chose). Some examples of these activities are movies and taking notes, self paced interactive computer tutorials instead of lecturing, playing a board games, looking through a microscope and etc.   The activities allow the students to chose activities based on their learning style. It is the teachers responsibility to have all of the activities on the list available, which may take some time but can highly benefit the students. The students then will have the opportunity to hand in the assignments in any order that they want. When working on these activities they are able to ask the teacher questions that they initiated instead of traditional teaching where teachers ask you the questions. The last part of this ted talk talks about caring. As an educator, it is important that we ask our students about what they like to do outside of school or if they work. When you see them in the hall, ask how they are doing. If they are in the newspaper for something, hang it up in the classroom and have them sign it. When we make our students feel important, they can see that we care and we want them to be successful. 

These teaching strategies and ideas have allowed me to think about different ways to implement teaching strategies in the classroom. I want my classroom to be an environment where the students feel safe. I want their input into what they like and don’t like so that we can create a successful learning environment together. 

Resources:

“Effective K-12 Teaching Stratergies.” CSME, College of Science- Texas A&M, cmse.tamu.edu/documents/LittlegreenBookletv3.pdf.

National Science Teachers Association - NSTA. “NSTA Position Statement.”

NSTA Position Statement: Science Education for Middle Level Students

, www.nsta.org/about/positions/middlelevel.aspx.

Ruhl, Joe, director. Teaching Methods for Inspiring the Students of the Future. Ted Talk, 27 May 2015, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCFg9bcW7Bk.

[j0study]

My study essentials:

paper: Okay this is self-explanatory because on what should you write instead unless you make your notes digital but I don’t do that so I need paper! (I prefer graph paper).       

flashcards: I always use flashcards to study! I write on them all the most important things and the information I have to learn down but I think I’ll maybe make a post on how I study (for each subject), are you interested?

 tea, coffee or just water: What I’ll drink depends on my appetite but how I said in my study tips post hydration is important! so drink, drink, drink and drink!     

highlighters: I need colorful pens to highlight all the important information or just to draw things like a cell for biology. But I don’t really have a color coding system I just highlight the topic in a color and the important information in a different one. 

Information: Okay how you want to study without the information haha? First of all, I always search up all the important information to get an overview for that I use my class notes, the textbook if we have one or sometimes I also use the internet.

My computer: I love my computer so much! I use it every day for my personal interests or also to study. There I can do research, make my homework, create presentations or when I don’t really understand something I just go on YouTube or on TheSimpleClub (a German learning site) and watch some videos.      

My study playlist: Most of the time I listen to music while doing homework or other productive stuff. It helps me to concentrate and to focus on the work I’m doing. If you want to you can check out my study playlist on Spotify! 

My planner: One of the most important things for me! I use an A5 Moleskine Journal with graph paper as a Bullet Journal where I write down all my homework, my to-do’s for the day and important appointments but I also use Edo Agenda on my computer and phone where I can plan easily on the go or when I don’t have my Journal with me.                                                                                

[visnyakovegorka-blog]

                                   The life of schoolboy in 2050

School education in 2050. Future education, which will be the closest to reality.

On our happiness, in schools there will be the real revolution. Children will still go to school and together to attend classes, but instead of being in a class along with 30 other same school students, they will be organized in groups on 5-6 people now. The tutor (mentor) who will give all necessary help and support will be put to each such group. Training process only for 50% will take place in walls of school, other 50% will be organized out of school, in a real situation where children as much as possible will be able early to get practical experience in various school disciplines.

Also training at home by means of various personal devices will become possible. So, there is no need of physical presence at school any more provided that you keep in contact with the group. At the same time many children nevertheless prefer real, but not virtual meetings. The system of estimation at schools is abolished, and achievements of each pupil are measured on that, how effectively he can find solutions for all problems which he faces – at the same time it is about problems of the real world, but not about artificially created educational tasks.

And now I want to tell you about my life in 2050 (How i imagine it)

You're probably wondering how I live in 2050, then listen. My name is Egor, i'm 12 years old and I'm just a boy, but my days are very interesting, I fly by the taxi to the moon. Sometimes I fly to my grandmother on Earth to see her. I love ice cream and learning. On my birthday mom and dad gave me flying shoes, I was very happy with this gift, because I really wanted it. My friends envied me.      

Now I will tell about the lessons at school.

In 2050 at school there are no teachers. Operating process, comes through the server center. That is pupils communicate with the computer character who reminds the teacher. And we can simulate to ourselves the teacher, depending on the preferences: to pick up him parameters of a voice, appearance, a behavior manner and also how "future teacher" will encourage and punish us. Also, we can choose those lessons which are really necessary to us.

In case of need "teachers" model process of training depending on skills and personal qualities of each school student. At school is not present there will be textbooks, we ispolyutsy audio and video records. Training is provided in the 3D mode. For many objects (geometry, biology, history, etc.) the simulations are created. So, for history – simulation of historical events. And it is much more interesting to us, than to read dry pages of textbooks.

Instead of fundamental knowledge, fundamentals of sciences school education gives us practical skills which pupils will be able to use in life.

After school, I go out with my friends and do my homework in the evening. The most favorite time of year is winter, because I love to play snowballs. I spend summer at my grandmothers house with my old friends. We are happy to see each other. I don't have a very rich family. I like walking in the sun. In the summer I not only go to my grandmother, but also set up camp on Mars. In the summer, my mom and dad and I went to Uranus to rest. It was very beautiful! we went up to the mountains, visited the beach, swim, the water is very cold, I really liked it. My parents will give me a flying Board when I  am 14. At 18, I plan to become a scientist to explore new planets and universes.     

[thecavavoice]

Q & A Interview With A CAVA Alumnus

By Sulana S.

Pictures of CAVA Alumni T. Spencer in Redondo Beach, C.A., Wednesday, November. 16 th , 2022 by Sulana S./The CAVA Voice

As high school students, it’s always comforting to see how those who were once in our position have succeeded in the real world. It’s even more helpful when the experienced come back to support and guide us on our own journeys.

I conducted an interview with a CAVA Alumni, T. Spencer, who is currently completing his 4th year of college at UCLA. He is earning a degree in Bioinformatics, also called Computational Biology, and a minor in Chicana/o studies. In the interview, Spencer answers questions that were submitted in a CAVA Voice survey by various students, in 10th , 11th , and 12th grade, about different topics such as college lifestyle tips and advice about classes.

Q: How long were you in CAVA? A: I was in CAVA for 6 years. I started when I was in 7th grade.

Q: Is it better to take AP classes and be stressed and overloaded with work, or take normal classes and get straight A’s easier?

A: In my experience, it’s better to take AP classes because they help prepare you for the fast pace of undergraduate classes that you will face in college. They’re also very important because universities want to see that as a student you’re taking the most challenging classes that you possibly can, even if you don’t do as well in them as you might have in a college prep course. It’s important to show that you’re trying and taking advantage of the most rigorous classes, like Honors and AP, that are offered by your school. For example, when applying to college, you would appear to be a stronger candidate if you earned a B in AP U.S History rather than an A in general U.S. History.”

Q: What about making the switch from online school to college presented the biggest challenge, and what about CAVA best prepared you to succeed?

A: “I would say the biggest challenge I had to deal with when transitioning from online school to college was the no longer having the comforts that I had in CAVA. It was a big adjustment having to consider the amount of time it takes me to walk from class to class. UCLA is a really big campus, with a lot of hills, so it was a huge change from getting to my classes through the click of the button versus having to run to them just to make it to my lecture on time. I think the thing about CAVA that prepared me to succeed was the rigorous course load that they give students and the amount of independence that is expected. To me it seemed like compared to other freshman, who attended brick-and-mortar schools, that were in my classes, I had less of a hard time adjusting to managing the heavy workload and having less one-on-one attention with a teacher. I was already somewhat used to managing my time and homework in a way that would allow me to not feel like I was falling behind. CAVA’s expectations, although very stressful in high school, were good preparation for the expectations that most students get shocked by their first year of college.”

Q: What should CAVA seniors be doing now to prepare for the leap to college or life in general? What is helping you keep up with university?

A: “One thing I think CAVA seniors should do now to get ready for the transition into college is to start getting used to a certain study routine that would be more efficient. For myself, I’ve realized that it’s so much better if students study a little bit each day, for every class, that way when there is an upcoming midterm or final, you won’t have to try to cram everything in the night before. Of course, it’s always extra helpful to study the weekend before for the test, but if you get used to studying some portion of what you’re learning every day you will remember it a lot better. At a school like UCLA, which runs on a quarter system, there are a lot of midterms for each class and not a lot of time in between them, so it’s a lifesaver to study a little bit every day because you might not have time to cram for three tests on the same day. Another thing I would have liked to prepare for when I was a senior at CAVA is to know that there will be some very difficult classes and challenges you have to get through. You won’t always get a perfect score on everything and it’s easy to let a bad grade get in your head, but it’s just one grade, and only a fraction of your overall success in college.” “In addition, as a college student I’ve learned that to keep up with the university-level workload I would rather tackle my assignments during the week when they are assigned rather than leaving the homework to catch up on the weekends. It’s definitely a lot of work and can be hard to manage everything, but it’s a lot better than trying to squeeze everything in at the end of the week like I have seen some of my classmates do.”

Q: If given the chance of having only one class during senior year, what would you do? Would you take part of the class the prior summer to graduate early or would you stay and take college courses in the meantime? Or is there a different scenario you would take?”

A: “In my opinion, if someone is interested in applying to college, it’s expected that students don’t ‘cruise’ during their senior year. By that I mean that universities want to see that you didn’t lighten your workload just because it’s your last year of high school, and you only need a few credits left to graduate. It’s important to show colleges that even though you could have taken an easier class schedule your final year, you still took it upon yourself to take on challenging classes and further your education as much as possible. For instance, my senior year was probably the grade that I had my heaviest workload. I believe I took four AP classes that year along with an honors class and an elective. So, to answer the question, in my opinion I would use my senior year to continue to take difficult classes and be able to have that to make my college applications even stronger. I’m not really sure about how this would work if you only need one or two classes, but I do have some family members that did dual enrollment, so they took classes at a community college at the same time as finishing high school. Maybe you could do both. I wasn’t in a big hurry to graduate, so I just paced myself to finish at CAVA, but I have two cousins that did dual enrolment. One of them finished high school and graduated with a diploma and an AA from the community college. After that she went to a UC. Now she’s at an Ivy League college back East for grad school, so it seems like it worked for her. I don’t personally know anyone that just took a couple classes senior year and then got into a college.”

Q: What do you think made you stand out? Do you think that being in an online school and applying to college made you look a little smarter or more studious? Do you think that being in an online school allowed you to prepare for the college life? Do you think that being in online school affected you in a positive or negative way when it comes to social situations?

A: “I think what made me stand out as a candidate for colleges was the balance of extracurricular activities to rigorous classes that I took all through high school. My senior year I had really hard classes like AP English, AP Spanish 4, Honors Physics, and Calculus. So, as a candidate I think my schedule spoke for itself, but I also had some extracurriculars that were maybe different for other people. For example, I used to volunteer at the library in my neighborhood, tutor elementary students, study guitar and train in martial arts. Maybe it wasn’t as many activities as other people, and they were not directly with the school. Looking back on it, I think it would have made me a better prospect if I had taken some school leadership or school community activities like ASB, newspaper, or a club. I can’t say if I looked any smarter, but when I wrote my essay responses on the applications, I made sure to say how my extracurriculars showed my commitment to the community and personal growth. I also think my classes and activities showed some discipline, which is big at CAVA because so much of what you do is independent, just like college. I think the online school helped prep for college life as far as academics, because CAVA classes are hard, and I remember having to be really organized. For the social part I think it depends on the person because lots of UCLA students really try to make college friends and keep the social life as a priority. That was a little different for me because I have a close family and my college is in the same city, so a lot of my free time is with them. Also, I got into a mentoring program where I do undergraduate research and that helps me meet people but honestly, it’s a lot of work and takes up a lot of my time. There are a lot of student groups on campus so if you got used to joining clubs a CAVA, college has a lot of them too.”

[ravenbrenna09]

masterpiece - snippet

I caved and decided to just post it since I’m probably not going to be posting Sobbe-related stuff for a bit. 

everyone blame @fehmyn​ for glasses!Sander because look at him:

Like why.

...

Thursday was not Robbe’s day. 

Thursday was, by far, Robbe’s longest and physically draining day. While his first class of the day didn’t start until a little before 12:00, his day wouldn’t end until about 23:00 which was when the library closed down, and he was freed from his job so he could go home. To add to his torture of a long day, (which is really his own fault for taking Amber’s shift so she could be picked up by her mother on her way home from work), his classes on Thursdays were particularly draining, filled with dry teachers that talked to the board and ignored any and all questions. 

Letting out a sigh, Robbe turned to his introductory essay which was pulled up in another tab of the computer in front of him. The head of the department didn’t care about them working on homework, as long as their other jobs were done first, and Robbe had already put up the remaining books in the library, straightened up the desks where the student workers sat, and filed away a stack or two of files for one of his superiors. 

Now, that all of his librarian work was done, at least until someone returned a book to the circulation counter and he would go off in search of its rightful spot, Robbe could focus on this essay, or a story, that his writing teacher had assigned as an “introduction” to their mindset as writers. And, the topic that had been chosen by his other 25 classmates was soulmates. 

He let out a breath of air, burying his face in his hands.

Robbe hated soulmates. 

Or, rather, he hated the idea of soulmates. 

As a kid, Robbe would sit and watch his mother doodle on her skin with her favorite pen, watch the curve of her letters, her small doodles of flowers, appear on the exact same spot on his father’s hand. His parents would smile at each other, love in their eyes, and tease each other when the other got a stain on their hand because it affected both of them. 

To little six-year-old Robbe, soulmates were everything that he had to offer and he thought that he didn’t have one because doodles never appeared on his skin. His mother had giggled at him, informing him that his soulmate’s doodles wouldn’t appear until after he reached puberty. Little Robbe had been confused as to why he had to wait, he now knew that the changing hormones and chemicals in the body at puberty that caused the connection to show fully, but no one, not even people researching and studying soulmates, could pinpoint how soulmates are chosen or when. 

To present-day, eighteen-year-old Robbe, soulmates were crap. 

His parents had been soulmates, had fallen in love, and got married, having Robbe shortly after. For the first eight years of Robbe’s life, his parents had been happily in love with one another. His father loved being home, loved cuddling his wife on the couch, to the point that Robbe would call them disgusting and throw a pillow at them and they would laugh. Then, his parents started fighting about little things, small minuscule details that shouldn’t matter. As the years went on, the fights got worse, louder and louder until Robbe couldn’t sleep at night anymore, sneaking out of his house and going to his best friend’s house to crash. Then, his father left them alone, found another woman who made him happier, and his mother spiraled, leaving Robbe caught in between, trying to help her.

His parents were soulmates and they had fallen out of love. 

If the one person that you were destined to be with was supposed to leave you anyways, what was the point of having the ability to connect with them on a physical level?

Letting out a sigh, Robbe reached out, typing angrily. Soulmates are fucking stupid.

“Woah there,” Zoë teased, walking up with a cup of coffee in her hand. 

Zoë was a barista and one of Robbe’s roommates. At the beginning of the year, Robbe had moved into the three-bedroom flatshare with her and a senior, Milan, because Robbe was not going to live with his dad, not after what he did to his mom, not with him and his new girlfriend. It was a minor miracle that the two of them had been so willing and that his father had been so understanding. His father wanted him to live in the dorms, but it was too expensive for Robbe. He was barely surviving month-to-month as it was and living in the dorms would be almost double the cost. 

“What’s wrong?” Zoë questioned. 

“What isn’t wrong?” Robbe questioned. “Of all the topics my writing class had to pick for our introductory assignment, they picked soulmates.” Zoë scrunched up her nose, understanding. “And, I can’t think of anything to write other than soulmates are fucking stupid.” As if she didn’t believe him, he turned the screen towards her and she stood on her toes to look, letting out a light breath through her nose. He let out a sigh, straightening the computer back. “Think that will get me full points?”

“I doubt it.” Zoë laughed. “Here, it’s from Chloë.”

“Again?” Robbe questioned. Chloë was a barista at the café, who had a crush on Robbe so obvious that even he could see it, which was saying something. When it came to realizing people having feelings for him, he didn’t have the best track record. Despite the fact that Robbe had several relationships, almost all of them had been as a result of the other person making the first move. “How many times have you told her that she’s not my type?” 

“Robbe,” Zoë laughed, reaching out to pat his head with a tone that says many times. “I think the only way she’s going to be convinced that you aren’t interested in her is if she finds you making out with a guy. Not that I can blame her. You are a cute boy. Whether you want to admit it or not.” Robbe rolled his eyes before spotting the purple writing on the back of her hand. Zoë caught his gaze and scoffed. “My soulmate’s latest ‘conquest’,” she remarked, pivoting the hand towards Robbe so he could see. 

Had a good time tonight was followed by a phone number, only the final digit was smudged. 

Robbe knew that he had a soulmate, of course, but his soulmate wasn’t the type of person who slept around a lot, or if they did, they didn’t have girls writing numbers on the back of their hand in hopes of a second round. 

On his sixteenth birthday, his best friend, Jens, had jokingly drawn a poor excuse of a birthday cake and sixteen candles on the back of his right hand (and Robbe will never admit to anyone how disappointed he was that it didn’t show up on Jens’ hand). Within an hour, as he sat in his biology class, his soulmate, whoever they were, had drawn an arrow to it and wrote awful, zero stars on booking.com before proceeding to draw a perfectly drawn cake, in pen, with the exact number on the candles, on the back of his left hand. The drawing looked perfect, meticulous, and every year, on that same day, another cake would appear on his hand with an additional candle.

Robbe had a soulmate. 

Even if he didn’t want one. 

Zoë let out a heavy sigh, pulling him back into the world of the present. “Every morning I wake up with a new number on my hand is another morning I question if you have the right idea,” she admitted, staring at her hand. “Soulmates are crap. I’m always half-tempted to call the number, tell her that he’s just going to find someone else, but what’s the point, right? Plus, it’s missing a digit.” 

“Save a woman from getting her hopes up, probably. But, don’t worry,” Robbe remarked. “I’m sure he’ll get his head out of his ass soon.” 

“Excuse me,” a voice remarked, over Zoë’s shoulder. 

The two of them pivoted to find that a blond-haired man was standing behind them. The man was stunning, absolutely breathtaking as though he had been carved from stone. There was a black-beanie resting lightly on his head, covering the strands of white-blonde hair that poked out from the edge, and he had a pair of bright green eyes that were partially hidden by the black-framed glasses perched on his nose. He was dressed in a pair of denim jeans, black converse, and a t-shirt with an artist that he didn’t recognize beneath his black hoodie. 

Robbe felt his breath catch in his throat. 

Looking like that in a hoodie, glasses, and a beanie was ridiculously unfair.

Especially to Robbe. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation,” he continued, pushing up his green bag further up his shoulder. “But, I need to check out this book for my art history class.” 

“Of course,” Robbe replied, his voice cracking a little. There was a knowing look on Zoë’s face, a familiar eyebrow raised that she generally reserved only for Milan, as she shuffled to the side, taking the coffee with her. The man stepped forward, placing the book on the edge of the counter, and Robbe took the book from him, eager to make sure their hands didn’t touch. “Sorry about that. Do you have your id?”

“Yeah, it’s in here somewhere,” the man replied, digging his wallet out of his bag. He found it, handing it over to Robbe, their fingers brushing ever so slightly, almost like it was on purpose. Robbe felt a jolt shoot up his hand as he took the id in his hands, switching to the electronic check-out system, typing in his student id number and scanning the book. A name popped up. Sander Driesen.

Once Robbe had deactivated the electric security in the spine, he placed his id on top of the cover and slid it across the counter, “Here you go.” Robbe kept his hand on the other side of the book, making sure to pull his own hand away before Sander reached out to grab the book. He took the book from the counter, grabbing his id from the top and slipping it into his pocket. “It’ll be due on the 17th of next month.”

Sander sent him a grin, a slightly confident, slightly wicked grin, like he somehow managed to know the effect that he was having on Robbe and his already jumbled mind, almost as much as Zoë did. “Thank you so much,” he remarked. He glanced towards Zoë, who was still hanging off to the side, and Robbe thought he saw Sander’s eyes flicker down to her hand, a flicker of recognition flashing through them, but then, Sander was smiling at her and saying to her, all confident and charming, “Sorry about interrupting your conversation.” 

“It’s completely okay,” Zoë replied. “I was about to leave anyway.”

Sander moved off, grinning at her, and Zoë handed Robbe his coffee, a knowing glint in her eye as she boosted herself up over the counter to press a kiss against his cheek. He shoved her away, wiping away the residue of her signature red lipstick, and Zoë ran out the door, giggling all the way and promising to save him some leftovers from dinner. Robbe let out a sigh, trying to return to his essay on stupid soulmates, but found his eyes looking for Sander, who had disappeared.

[amazingpaperart]

It's Not What You Say.....

It's Not What You Say.....

I am sure that many of you could complete that sentence, hearing you parents or elderly aunt's voice in your head..."It's not what you say dear, but how you say it." When you heard it, it was probably because you had talked to your elders in a tone that was unacceptable.

I am sharing this saying with you not so you can teach it to your teens, but to teach to you.  Often as parents,  much of the "feedback" that we share with our teens is said either in a voice of authority as in " I know better than you squirt, so listen up," or in a voice full of exasperation as in "how many times do we have to go over this..," or in a voice full of judgement.."how could you have...." In all of these examples, most likely the response you get from your teen is to either ignore you, get defensive, or give you attitude. None of these pave the way for meaningful communication or closure.

As I have mentioned before, the emotional center of the teen brain is in overdrive most of the time, hence the roller-coaster of emotions you are likely to experience with them just in the course of a single day. Once that Amygdala is in activation and firing, it is pretty hard to shut it down. Think of a stove top burner that has been on high. Once you shut it off, it takes a good amount of time before you can touch it without being burned. Such is the Amygdala of the teenage brain. So one of the goals then, is to not get it activated, especially if you have an end goal in mind for a conversation you want to have with your teen.

If you blame your teen's over-reaction on biology, rather than on something they have much control over, it frees you up to not blame them, thereby avoiding the double whammy of the actual issue you are concerned over + the aforementioned over-reaction.  That is why arguing with your teen is so frustrating. Because you often never really get to discussing the core issue, too busy getting pissed at them for getting pissed at you.

So what to do. Listen to the sound of your own voice. Would this be THE voice that used to piss you off as a teen? If it is, can you work on saying it another way. Of course my suggestion is to use an "I get it" statement. Rather than starting with a lecture or accusation, think ahead of time of what might have motivated the particular behavior you are now needing to talk about with your teen.

For example:

FROM " Get off your damn phone and computer and finish your homework." TO; I get it's important for you to stay in touch with your friends, but we need to figure out a way for you to get work done, and stay in touch with your friends."

FROM: "If you talk to your brother again like that, I am taking away that damn video game. That kind of disrespect is unacceptable in our family." TO; I get how hard and annoying it is to have a younger brother who always wants to hang with you and use your stuff just when you want to use it. I know he pushes all your buttons, let's figure out a way for you to get your privacy."

FROM: "I am sick and tired of the absolute mess in your room, you are a slob and are disrespectful of the money we spend so that you can have all these nice clothes." TO: I get cleaning your room is absolutely the last thing on your mind. I know getting ready in the morning is stressful and finding the right outfit means trying on a bunch of stuff and just discarding what isn't right. We gotta figure out a better system."

At the least, you haven't antagonized your teen to shut down. You are showing him/her that you understand what might be going on, rather than just criticizing them yet again for not doing..x y z. Give it a try, you might be surprised at how well it works!

PS: Getting my speaking schedule up and running for the 2015-16 year. Email me at joani@joanigeltman.com if you are interested in having me come and present one of my seminars at your school, company, church, temple, community group or on a street corner in your neighborhood!!   Or book an Ask The Expert Party. Invite your friends, or the parents of your teen's friends to your house and I'll spend two hours giving you all tips and strategies, geared specifically to your needs.

from Joani's parenting tip of the day http://joanigeltman.blogspot.com/2018/04/its-not-what-you-say.html via Blogger http://babylifepower.blogspot.com/2018/04/its-not-what-you-say.html